Here are a couple ways to tell if someone definitely does not smoke:

  • They call it "the pot"
  • They use the phrase "using/taking drugs" when they talk about smoking up
  • They think a roach is a cigarette butt
  • They think a bag of smelly, green stuff is moldy tobacco that HAS to be thrown out NOW!


I'm done for now, but I bet you all have some good ones to add. Between religious relatives and square employers I've heard some of these and had to control myself from bursting out laughing in their faces.