now remember we live
my eyes closed, on the backs of my eyelids i see a room different than the one i'm in, as i will to move i do though i am standing still. whos eyes are these that i am looking through, have they become unaware now that i put my hand infront of my face and know that i control this, or is it only like a reel that is controlling me.
phone videos on you tube
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
a day in the life of me
'stray bullets' 9 and 'zig zig' 1
with you? yeah. you? sure. you? ..uh-huh.. HAHAHAHAH!!!!! -------------- WOW THAT'S A LONG WAY DOWN
we took $16 dollars, got a joint, and ditched a cab
we are running out of air
starring down at the concrete in the water i see a massive rigg and i realize that everyone leads 2 lives, and that on a global scale time stops and there can be chaos involving whole cities. we don't even know what we look like, everyone is just asleep, they have no idea what's on the other side, just sleepwalking. rituals of sacrifice and exhibitions go on and no one knows even though it's them that does it. to bring these things to their attention it to be found insane and injected to stupor. so what are these 2 sides for and why does it appear that i'm the only one who can think about it. no one has ever been willing or seemed to have the know how to discuss this time when all people are carnal, unknown..

plates
walked out of the bathroom, the lights dim and there's an iron
gate in front of me with children behind in a courtyard, a pirate
waving a cane in my face and a midget with an erection laying
in my bed.. oh shit! u can't tell the what to do! u can't tell the what to do
and this is me.. there are many many persons in my head speaking through
me. they go to extremes with my actions. i believe these are carried by frequencies
and that there is a big part of me that i do not know exists. my body is a communications terminal,
pockets of flesh.. what do we need from you?

design a sensor array with modular IO
remote, indicate sensitive amplification technologies .. masking/waves, ranges .. non-physical 2 locally monitored transmission types .. physical layers, transformer - language2language, indicate loss/gain ..

example: measure water table difference

spored
telepathic mold lives in my house. it randomly assimilates and generates brainwaves producing various effects such as perception of sounds, visions, and touch. it's not friendly or unfriendly only that its make up has properties that allow one to feel the mold's presence.

contemporary movie from the thirties
broke on three of a seven day binge
hard gettin' offended you before the end
and i assume the way you feed
one step ahead of me
impervious to your disappointing

quit turning out the light
fat guy smothering me
cracked my neck
as i got up

don't know who watches over me
same lady shot me in the face when i was three

terd
so wat is off.. aye off..eye on.. eye done of .. go 'em, hoe 'em, foe 'em, dough 'em.. lye key

she went for the pen

tin foil room
thank you for watching out..

location- Who has the radar receiver? Motivation for causing interaction? Is the needle on harm? how can i be responsible for mistakes while understanding how my life is in the hands of the receiver and catalyst controller? Is coincidence ignorance? lack of understanding? how are actions justified?

- - - restraint, discipline, honorable, integrity, dependable, mature, steadfast, motivated - - - -

---electro magnets, laws of electricity, electronic components, arcs, welding, stun guns, light bulbs, power sources---

why i got picked to be what i can never know telling myself wanting to hear that shouldn't has there when the words won't fit and lost in resolution conflict in most important actions hidden interpretation shielded lessons beginning so do waiting to know seconds of relief >>---------------------------------------------> when is what was by you for me, from me by you to me? when 2 to two too tu . . . . how can i know which advice to take, you won't allow yourself to see me, aware that i wanna see not finding where the explanation is placed so that to feel too much or can't see that it's just you making me explore the ways that i don't feel.. how can i know that i'm not me? 10foilroom, heat lamp go go, all feeds, five leaves, counterfit balsa .. 'setting me up to tell me to be okay so that you can_______________'

time space
dude there aint nobody else .. outside is only a mega-plex of people waiting to be takin' out of hibernation.. some groups perhaps who work the cause, other then that you are all alone.. consider yourself lucky that you are awake. eventually somebody is going to come and put things in your mind, make you forget what youre thinking.. you can't peak knowing yourself and be aware of time at the same time as much as it would help it can't happen. 98ejhr0gj9er0[9tij9i0jewr0t943ijfwf09j ::::::::::::::::fault use::::::::::::::::::: error expectantly:::::::::::::

Theory from intuition:
Because I will doesn't bring
Because I don't desire doesn't leave

I can care more or less
Reacting is an agenda
Elaborating on instinct

1. enough energy to create
2. compromised for malleability
3. execution

I don't plan or foresee tragedy


semi-mutual awareness
suspicious that they keep from me how they cloned me and wear me so that i'm not me or there's a readout they look at to see me from where they are, devices implanted in me listening, even that i know sometimes they drive as in are me, i'm not me. whenever they do i do. - - wandered a journey into inescapably replaced eye fin snout hollowed scallop pathway delusional gateway sorting unbearable .. a twinge of guilt . . anything clever falls you . . keep your persona as that of a child . . having your material reproducing to re replicate to that which it wasn't . . stole your girl . . mirror my mind that i should accept this or would i mind.


even that love has been misrepresented completely
there is nothing except for a button clicking algorithm signaled by a car horn..

im in battle with the planet.. people, persons, I only have a hint that they love as thoroughly, as effectively as they care to. it's all love really, even the worst.. I got no plan to stay away from the way that I am. What I am is just a copy from what I remember.. edit out thee.. that i don't know, that i can't know. just bluffing till i see sine waves of conflict can want to live for why to second guess it's okay to be alone.

tick a know, leave the light off.. no, yes, Z, 0, Why, suffix. prisoner for the purpose of subjected mental frequent distraction, unresolvable emotion.. always been.. this is my role. don't talk, stay away from others.. lease hosts' perception, audio is variable communication.. weight, function, presentation.


seizers, blackouts, an excuse for unauthorized access
You wake up and your things are different then they were.. you become angry or curious, how can you not wonder? whatever the case maybe if you're not aware then you don't know..

So what is it to loose consciousness for an indescribable amount of time. what did i do? where have i been? who do i not know that knows me and for what? I'm not involved in my own actions, incomprehensible. Only driven by a temporary impulse that is what I keep.

Temptation is option unweighed.
I'm tired of being respond, I'm tired of looking forward.


changed
but sometimes the mirror will disguise as one of their victims and make a special appearance starting from no point at least completely dissatisfied, at most satisfaction based on falsity, imported consciousness as fact for the purpose of destruction. To create is to be developed. You never see picking at the make up of sense.. Confined through self control of a production of in adeptness.

And I had visions to be revealed as deception. Visited by a practice to be consumed, a group who desired death. My body became their body and I took them all.

just wanted to say i have nothing to say
Hidden Cameras connected to a network of merciless games.. replicated city blocks(sum)people transported subconsciously between their numerous identical homes. Identical Twins - deceit with your friends impersonated, rolled for satellite views. Structured maze made to defeat and so preserve power, balance the less fortunate so as to decide the divi of the powerful..

with every bad doing so as they, the unknown, give of themselves through their evil and kindness should show you a glimps as to the explaination you will uncrave.

You don't decide who you are, what people see, what they hear.. communication is fabrication .. there is only the balance of this to consider..

--------------------------------------
here's what i'm left with.. I don't know. I have only nothing to explore.. bliss to complaint.. riding a bucket of blind.. social interest void, remembering how to lie to myself to rely on myself.. just a rotting sweat bag enhanced by what brings me to want.. overwhelmed by some questions, too much so i'm caught off guard.. I try to ask but I find that I don't want to know my past like I can't understand or to understand is to misinterpret so that i can move on i want you to appreciate them..


multiple personality disorder
sometimes i'll just be sitting there and "involuntarily speak". usually when no one is around. under my breath i'll say "hi josh".. and it doesn't seem like the same experience every time, sometimes it's more intense or like in a different voice. like doing an impression only you dont know you can do it, it just happens, almost possessed or haunted. i can feel the difference between the personalities, after all it is me who's doing it.. sometimes the voice speaking feels or sounds like people i know. how can you change into another person is what i wanna know.. is personality all spirit? like how you sound and the way you come across, is all that transferable?

we are connected


the circle
help me work the circle for you..

it's like exactly where you are, where you left yourself, from there everything you are connected to is situated in some pattern.. recognizing this pattern as applied to connecting tangible objects to events such as time or expression can invoke altered states of conciouness or trance. realizing reality is set against itself in this way and picking up on the varibles where everything is the same and perception is divided is a good way to go insane..


i dont know and i dont care cuz up your butt there's a wild hair
i'm not managing . . everybody's rejecting me just because i'm not doing anything with myself.. well except for drinking 40s and playing guitar on the street downtown for change.. the concern, i dont think that they are showing concern correctly.. these circumstances dont warrant concern.. people can be normal and then change for nothing and just because i'm a loser means i have to take the brunt of the blow, feel like i'm not worthy. unless i'm forgetting, i dont think i've been such a fucken jerk as some of the tards i associate with. i mean it's bad, they be all like screaming, maybe they laugh about it when i'm not around..

music
god dang i love music.. jazz, electronic, country whatever i know i'm saying something that lots of people say.. turn you on to some good'ens cuz i don't know how to make a good list Blind Melon, Arctic Monkeys, Modest Mouse, Critters Buggin, Thievery Corporation


i wrote this like a month ago:

Sometimes I be seeing you.
Not the right time
most of the time.

Why you come up and sit down
to tell me it doesn't matter
whether or not.

Wanna keep on forgetting
that I don't want that,
but you won't let me.

Changed my mind


delusion
don't you love thinking that everybody wants you or you can use your special powers to live forever? i'm kurt cobain's brther, there's a Italian mob syndicate protecting me 24 hrs a day. I'm god...

it fades, hard to maintain rationale with ideas like that, especially if you take a shot of Thorazine. that one guy in memento(movie) said we lie to ourselves to be happy. is it really a problem, having the belief that people are following you, i say whatever makes you happy do it..

touching a ghost
what's up.. hard to think of with so many ideas, how about tactile hallucination. like where you can get raped by an apparition. i myself have seen shit and felt shit, felt a cold knife blade(dull) in my sack while i was going to sleep, didn't have an orgasm. most of the time i'm paralyzed during those kinds of experiences, even possessed mentally to respond different than i would looking back. i think the ghost drives. allot of the time for me it's just like electricity in some part of my body, varies in intensity. usually uncomfortable.. getting hosted by that stuff can be very pleasurable or very dissatisfying. i prefer not to be there but there is no choice.

star-date 40 sector OE
i've been drunk for many days.. like maybe 2 weeks.. is drinking better than crack? it's certainly cheaper. amazing how much better one feels with beer in the fridge and a pack of cigarettes. i use to go to bars but i get way too messed up to hang plus here you can get 4 tall boys and a pack of stoges for 10 bucks, to go out with that would cost you $20. my best behavior is pathetic, i gotta let it all go.. flip off the whole world.. as a joke..

"Man, you're just all like.." (not men are all alike) say it real fast and that's the igniting motion that is the essence of party.."like what?" exactly just don't even keep going, stop at like. we're buds