Well, I've actually thought about the whole prostitute thing, and I'd really like to do it, if I could get to Amsterdam. But I'm way too poor for that. I don't have a couple hundred dollars to blow on a plane ticket to Holland.
Quote Originally Posted by birdgirl73
Do you have any friends who are girls? Talking to them is basically like talking to anyone else. If you do have some friends who are girls, have them coach you a bit. Girls like guys who communicate, as a rule, because they know where they stand with them. If you don't have any girl friends, you need to cultivate some.
Well, I don't really have any "friends". Never have. My social life for the past 21 years has been one gigantic failure story.

But there is one girl from work that I've just started hanging out with. I've been thinking about having a talk with her about it, and I guess I could try that out. It'll be a while though, since I have to wait until we have some time in private to talk.
OK, one of my son's friends had the same problem with virginity, and it was making him depressed, too. Finally, he met a friend of one of his cousins who was willing to do her duty in the service of manhood and let him get his first time out of the way with her. That seemed to help him feel less different, but he still doesn't naturally connect with ladies in the same way the other guys do. In your case, like his, I believe it's the fact that he's a great deal smarter and so is different from the rest of his crowd.
True, I have been called smart by just about everybody I've met, but I can't fathom why that would make me any less desirable to women. Usually they're actually somewhat impressed by my intelligence, and say nice things about it.
Young women often don't have the same discriminating tastes when they're in their late teens or early twenties that they later develop, and so they still tend to gravitate to the regular-Joe guys. Later when they get more mature and discerning, they learn that it's the irregular Joes who make for more interesting--and kinder--lovers and friends. In some ways, it'd be ideal if you could meet women who are a few years older so they're already past the regular-Joe phase of their lives.
It would be ideal, but I don't have any room to pick and choose what kind of women I'd like to meet. My problem is that I'm hardly meeting any at all.
You've got to put yourself in the path of some very smart girls, Oneironaut. I know you're not religious, and I wonder if some like-minded girls might not be present at the nearest Unitarian fellowship. What about clubs or activities from your college? What about online dating? What about setups through friends? What about a part-time job--or just frequent hanging out--at a nearby bookstore? It's a matter of arranging it so you'll have as many possible interactions with intelligent women so you get more exposure.
I suppose that might help, but still I run into a lot of problems even when I meet smart girls. I just never know what to say, or how to deal with them on an emotional level (I really really don't have any experience relating to people on a deeper level than casual acquaintanceship). And of course, there's the persistent problem that every girl I ever meet is already screwing somebody.

It's hard for you to hear the "Be patient" advice, I'm sure.
It is. I've been hearing it for almost ten years, and I've been as patient as I can be. But I don't know how much longer I can last. The depression is really eating away at me, and it's starting to affect the rest of my life. I'll start tearing up at random inappropriate moments (like at work), and I can't help but to feel intense envy and resentment every time I see a happy couple. Sigh...
But if you can hang on until you actually meet someone you like and have some things in common with, ultimately that's going to be a more satisfying relationship, sexually and emotionally.
I'm sure it would be, but again I can't be picky right now. Any relationship at all would be a welcome respite from my solitude.
As you know, there are tons of guys out in the world whose sole mission is to nail girls,
I know. They keep ruining things for me. Do you know how many times a week I hear from some girl that men are all just horny assholes who can't treat them with respect? But they stay with their assholes anyways, and it kills me to know that I would never treat them like that.
and there are plenty of girls out there who don't have the self-esteem to know there's more to relationships than being the latest "nailee." Work on cultivating the friendships/relationships first, and the sex should eventually follow. Above all, quit denigrating yourself for not having passed this self-imposed milestone.
I can't help it. I know on a purely rational level that there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, but my irrational body is screaming for me to do something about this, and it's kind of hard to ignore it. Damn genes...
That's just making you feel worse, and chances are the negativity and insecurity that youâ??re reinforcing for yourself are probably showing through on some level and may even be adding to the problem.
Probably.
Good luck!
Thanks, I'll need it.