I need help...

[deltron]

In my opinion...sex is overrated because we see it all in the media as the thing that we must do. I see differently. I have never dated myself and I am pushing 24. lol. But I look at how much commotion and bullshit happens from relationships. I've seen MANY people hurt and devastated over relationships. Everybody is different, but its something that I choose not to deal with. And I consider random sex with people to be immoral.

That is bullshit, in my opinion. Having sex is an amazing feeling.. its like masturbating but more fun. I don't give a fuck how sex is portrayed in the media, i have urges, lol.

As for relationships.. sure most of them don't end in marriage but still theres good times and bad times.. not all "commotion and bullshit". If you have never dated, how can you judge that?

deltron Reviewed by deltron on 12-31-2006. I need help... Well, I'm 21 and I'm like the only virgin I know. I have no idea what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just not attractive, maybe I'm too weird, maybe I'm just not trying the right way, but something's up. I have never had a girlfriend and I've kissed two girls in my entire 21 years of existence (one of them doesn't count cause she only kissed me once real quick to make another kid jealous). I have no clue what to do. Every day it gets worse, since every day my peers are getting older and more Rating: 5

[RyanTheCaveman]

sorry to say, but he's right... sure women always talk about wanting that nice guy, that's so diffrent from every other 'one'.... but at the end of the night, they almost all end up the same place (atleast those women who have a man) which is a guy, not too much diffrent from 'every other guy' not telling you to go out and beat some guys ass and grab his woman and kiss her before she can speak or anything like that... maybe just stop being so timid? you know, too much of anything, is bad, including niceness....

So are you saying too much weed is a bad thing? shame on thou! :P

Anyways man-im 15 and im still a virgin and all my friends aren't virgins...they all "kid" around and make fun of me being a virgin(more like one guy though :P)
but...soon i'll lose it.
but i feel your pain dude. it sucks ass.
but i can say and assure if you dont choose suicide then your near future will be great and you will be happy.
Just hold on and stay together. Find some friends and have fun.
it'll all come together sooner or later.

[Reefer Rogue]

Desperate times call for desperate measures, live your life for yourself. Knowledge is gained through experiance. Try combining rationalizing with experiancing. The only person who can help you is yourself, you have to be dedicated. Try, try and then try again. There is no rejection, trust me, you must get over rejection before you'll proceed. If it happens, move on to the next girl and don't let it get you down, even though i KNOW how hard that is. Start slow, go out, go have some conversations with beautiful women. Practise, practise, practise. Get some phone numbers, work your way from there. Seriously man, don't give up and don't let it get you down. I use to think 'can i be truly happy without a women in my life?' i use to think not but now i see that i can be happy without women, they're not everything.

[MastaChronic]

im going out on a limb here, but maybe your just not hearing the right things, there are subtle invitations that you have to be on the look out for. you'll know them when you hear them if your paying attention.
ask a lot of questions too, keep them talking, ask them how there day went, how such and such made them feel etc etc etc.
most of all, dont whack off.
i believe testosterone plays a large part in things and if your balls are hurting that is a big incentive to try and get laid.

[thcbongman]

Relax and don't let yourself down for not getting laid.

Go to a bar with some friends just for fun, not on some run of conquest. Chat with the ladies lightly, humorously. Don't be ashamed you are a virgin. Be proud because you are the fresh fish that hasn't been caught yet. You are the unconquered, the untravelled. You don't let just anyone have the temple of your body. Make yourself a challange to get laid. The more you deny sex, the more it drives the ladies crazy. Just play around and have fun. Eventually the opportunity will present itself, believe me.

[deltron]

I don't think the guy should be denying sex at this point

[shoi]

i dunno... i dont have much luck with this kind of thing either... but wen i get somewhere its like im not myself... ill look back on the time i was with someone and feel strange... like i do things id nvr do normally, just like instinct.....

[trippruss]

I would maybe fuck a hooker on an extreme occaision, like winning the lottery or some shit.

Pussy is one thing in life that is free. And that is the way it should be.

nothing in life is free, especially pussy. i'm a 42yr ol' man who has probably turned down more sex than most men will have had in their lives. i was a total bad-boy growing up & attracted alot of girls for some reason. not boasting just making a statement.
the sex you pay for w/$ is the least expensive. the rest carries huge costs, emotional being the most, but sex with someone you love or care for alot is the best.
hookers are a useful tool & dont think that girls that aren't hookers dont carry disease. men are hardwired genetically to try & spread their seed so when the pressure builds & your in the midst of a dry-spell, splurge the couple hundred $ & get your freak on. for some strange reason i have found that getting more sex gets you more sex. it is a confidence thing which women instinctively pickup on.
monogamy is always a plus for security/self image issues, but personally i need a release once in awhile w/o emotional attachment. guess i'm a freak.
r

[secretgarden]

Well, I'm 21 and I'm like the only virgin I know. I have no idea what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just not attractive, maybe I'm too weird, maybe I'm just not trying the right way, but something's up. I have never had a girlfriend and I've kissed two girls in my entire 21 years of existence (one of them doesn't count cause she only kissed me once real quick to make another kid jealous).

I have no clue what to do. Every day it gets worse, since every day my peers are getting older and more sexually experienced while I lag behind, becoming ever less desirable than the competition. The thing is, I just don't know where to meet girls or how to talk to them if I like them. People tell me that the right girl will just "come along" eventually, but that strategy doesn't seem to be working when I spend most of my free time in my room alone with no place to go. And they tell me to just "be myself" around girls, but that's what I've been doing anyways and it's pretty obvious that being myself for 21 years has gotten me absolutely nowhere. Every time I try to talk to someone about it, I get those two pieces of bad advice, and every time I follow it, continuing to wait around and be myself, and continuing to become crazier and crazier because of my sexual frustration.

I'm a smart, nice, funny guy. I never argue or fight with people, and I'm super-nice to just about everybody I meet. And still, I can't even manage to make any regular friends, much less get a girl to want to fool around with me. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. What's even more confusing, is that the sexually active guys around me are all total assholes to women all the time! They insult, offend, and abuse women, and they get laid all the time. What do girls see in such pricks? Why do the nice guys finish last?

Sometimes I try to ignore it all, and sometimes I succeed for a while, but it always comes back to haunt me. It's really depressing, and I think it's causing me psychological problems. I often have thoughts of committing suicide, and though I know I would be too scared to actually do it, the very fact that these thoughts keep coming up in my head frightens me. It tells me there's something seriously wrong with my life here and I need to fix it.

Nice guys don't finish last, the ones who are pricks do. You maybe 21 and still a virgin but there's not a damn thing wrong with that. Hell my roommate didn't have sex until he was 26. Don't worry about getting any and just be yourself. One day you'll find the right girl and it will be awesome. You kind of remind me of myself. Always nice and not having many close friends but hey i'd rather have a couple awesome friends then a bunch of flakes.

Sometimes being to nice makes people wonder what you are up to. Over time you will figure out who and when to be super nice to. After a while of being there for them and letting them get to know you they will see the real you. Girls like a guy who can talk and more importantly listen someone who will be there at 2am because they are sad. nice guys are hard to come by so don't you change bud or I'll be pissed.

Most of the guys that go out and get laid just play game, say what they need to so they can get into someone's pants. Personally i tell people I don't want in your pants mine fit just fine.

You can try dating web sites, or chat rooms to meet people. But it's all in how you see yourself and project yourself. If you feel down and out people pick up on that. Walk proudly but not cocky, hold your head up high but not so far that people think your stuck up. Humans are silly and hard to figure out from time to time. Just stay who you are and don't change being nice. Your time will come and when it does i hope she's a great lady who will treat you right.

PS read what birdgirl wrote, she's a smart cookie. She made a lot of good points.

[PdoubleOTY]

well its worth a shot....the online dating services..like match.com and shit and eharmony...now i know they soudn bullshit, but for someone your age wtih that seems to be a little shy, these websites let you post your info and pics and helps you to find people that you would naturally get along wtih. i KNOW these sites work becuase my sister is happily engaged with a man she met through match.com and they LOVE each other to death..the sites really do match you up with great potential partners, so if you have the time to do it, i say go for it man..if not, get a job working wtih the public, and when a cute girl comes along, run some game