I'm 28yrs and I only seen one dead person in my life... It was my ex-gf's, step-dad's, relative... This was back when I was 20yrs or so... I remember feeling this strong urge not to be around 'death'... Like it might 'see' me or something... I dont know it was weird. When I looked at the body I didnt feel comfortable. Later that night me and the ex had some crazy sex in the relative's bathroom while they were eating and talking about the deceased... Made me feel better and I forgot all about the first part of the day.


On a slightly different note, sometimes when I get high I get disturbing thoughts of my own mortality and how I will die one day... I'm not so much afraid of being dead as much as the whole process of dying... I'm afraid what it will be like to lose life and 'taste' death and that exact moment when I feel life leave my body... I think life is so beautiful and to lose that and become part of 'death' makes me feel sad. I fucking hate it when I get high and think about it though cause it becomes such a vivid thought it makes my heart race.

I dont like death... I dont know if I would want people looking at my dead corpse... I would rather be thought of in memory. The only comfort I can think of with death is if I can be buried next to my ex-gf from HS... I wouldnt be so afraid of death or sad about not seeing the sun rise/set every day if I could spent eternity with her.