why do we even go to funerals? i couldn't tell you why it originally started, or who thought up the idea... but i can tell you now it's just a tradition... i don't want a funeral, i literally don't... i don't know why anyone would, honestly... sure it's supposed to be a time of celebration, although it sounds bad, like we're celebrating the fact they're dead, but in reality, it's supposed to be a celebration of the life they had, but it never really works out that way.... since i know it doesn't, i don't want anyone to have to go through that myself

of course you're afraid of death, it's something you've never experienced before, and there's only two real ways to feel about something that's life changing, that you've never went through before, either fear, or anticipation, and while some do, most dont' anticipate death, so the only other logical option is fear... i'm sure it doesn't help any that no one can really offer insight into what happens, you don't get to study, or time to prepare yourself, it just 'happens' whether you're ready for it or not... and i think that's what scares most people... i mean lets just say you get in a horrible accident, i've been in a bunch, you don't really feel the pain, it's the healing that hurts, so when you die, even if it's a horrible death, you probably aren't going to experience nearly as much pain as you think you are... i mean yeah, the signals from the nerve ending telling your brain you're in pain, or supposed to be, will be there, but when something 'horendous' happens, your brain doesn't process it the same way....

i've also been on the edge of death, and i knew i was.. and it is frightening, i felt really cold, and that's nearly all i can remember from the experience.... funny thing was, it was off of marinol (i took quite a few) you can have every doctor come in here and tell me i was just tripping balls, but there are a few things in life that you just know, when it's happening, and i know i was dying...