For all the Yanks :P

[Mrs PotatoHead]

This thread is incredibly funny and I am still laughing my arse off..

[Imotep]

This si some funny shit people.

my australianness is a bastard hybrid of pom and yank and home grown ozzy.
cultural influences run deep.
ac/dc, cricket and aussie beer.

[Kombucha]

I like Australia, it's like a better version of the UK

[bruiser]

WW2 would not have been won without the US. You Brits were isolated by the German war machine. You did not have the military power to launch a European offensive. The Austrailian mainland was defensless against the Japanese since the Aussies were in North Africa fighting. Yeah we didn't get involved until we were attacked in WW2, we should've started fighting earlier. The Germans and Japanese were both working on atomic programs! If the US had not gotten involved it is likely that London would've been exactly like Hiroshima.

Hey dude I may not be a huge war buff! but I do know that during both wars Canada took important area's of the war that wasn't taken by our other allie's,and they brought in the fighting canadians to mop the place up!of course I give credit to all allie's but just wanted to mention the fact that many very important area's of the war haden't been won until the canadians laid the smack down! When a famouse brittish commander was asked who did he see as a true help to your cause he answered with this" the war would have been lost if it wasn't for those damn Canadian bastards lol"

[00Ampersand]

Yes, americans tend to forget that we had the fourth largest army in the world at the time, so we weren't just some acessory to the war. We were a force to be reckoned with!.........man, things have deteriorated, eh bruiser? haha
~007~

[00Ampersand]

and we shot down the Red Baron! w00t.....(and yes, that was world war one. I know)
~007~

[thecrackbaby]

Me and my assault weapons say Fuck You tommy! Lets see how the Royal military does against the US military and millions of armed angry citizens. !

American gun owners are inbred trash, so is your military.

Wow you almost sound like a Nazi. How do you figure your military is better? I have served with Aussie diggers and British troops and besides the Royal Comandos I was not impressed very much.

The american military is nothing but small town hick trash who could either flip burgers or kill babies. Recruiters will take anyone, they comb the ghettos and middle america looking for losers who will make nice canon fodder. Its nothing to be proud of.

I'm tired of all the anti-american BS on this website. You don't see posts with us bitching about other countries. Every country is fucked up in it's own way. Fix your own problems instead of pointing at ours.

Ok, but my country doesnt go around the world raping and killing citizens of other nations including women and children. Poor americans dont like to even hear about what evil scum you are? Gee poor you. I care about the iraqis not you. When you stop acting like the worlds bully, we will stop making jokes about you.

1.

2. Bill Gates doesn't care. He is too rich to care what people in the UK think. We don't care about British television or movies. If we did you'd see more on this side of the Atlantic.


You prefer mindless american garbage. Lots of explosions, jerry bruckheimer, just garbage.


5. We love our National Athem. It reminds us how an entire fleet of British ships couldn't shoot down a flagpole.


Your anthem reminds me of dead indians and slaves



7. Nope no nuclear war with anyone. I'd have to be crazy to agree with you there. Sorry, I'm keeping my guns


Gun owners are inbred. Welcome to the 21st century, there is no place for gun trash in the world. And you gun isnt keeping you free.



9. All American cars are hereby banned. So are double-decker buses.



Public transit is a commie plot to stop the americans from consuming all the world resources, as is your divine birthright.



11. Fuck Tea!


Fuck waffle house



13. Hell, gas is expensive at 2 bucks a gallon. No thanks.



Get and out and walk you fat american. American gas is too cheap, you dont pay your share. All the worlds oil is going to be used up so a fat american can drive his hummer, and all stupid americans can say to this is "tree hugger". Actually conserving oil is not a commie plot to take away your bible and make you gay.



14. No guns, therapists, or lawyers? I like choices. Keep your lack of freedom on your island.


Guns dont make you free, they make you prisoners in your suburb. I guess you are free to get shot, dont know why thats so great.



16. We have enough taxes. But nothing like the Poll Tax.

No you dont pay enough taxes. Taxes pay for sevices that benefit everyone. Americans are just too dumb to adopt socialism, like all civlised nations. So you pay less taxes, yet your schools suck, your health care is only for the rich and you have giant ghettos. Thats a great system.

[/QUOTE]

To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always, we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. We hate to ruin your tea-party here, but the sun has, in fact, set on the British Empire! Cheerio!


At least they can find the "rest of the world" on a map.


However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world.



Except america which loves kings in places like afghantistan and kuwait. A king is good when it serves americas intrests.





2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue.


LOL you cant do that, any canuck can pass for american if they want to. You might pass as a canuck until you said y'know 50 times. Unless you are southern, midwestern, from boston new york or texas. If you are from michigan or vermont you might be able to.




Ahem. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture.


At least you added the pop. Because no one relys on america for culture, because you dont have any.


We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse.


So they only make 1 movie a year? Or only one movie you have heard about?



7. Learn how to cook. For your own sake if nobody else's. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. If the French can figure it out, you should be able to.



So why is it that jamie oliver is 1 of the best cooks in the world? Let me guess you have never been to england and think its all black pudding. Get a passport, dont be an ignorant american your whole life.
BTW jack in the box, catfish sandwhichs, grits. America is one big fat clogged artery. I think i mentioned waffle house already in this post, but why is there one on every exit on i-95?


8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing; it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England.


Cars should be expensive, no one needs one.



9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".


Teletubbies is great at 6 am on mushrooms


Thank you for your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.


Ok if you promise to watch the OC


P.S. Regarding World War II: You're Welcome.


Get a history book, american movies always make you out to be heros

Americans are a funny group. Stupid religious to the point of denying evolution and thinking abstinece works. Instead of handing out condoms they give you a pamphlet to try to guilt trip you into denying a biological need. That approach works wonder in africa.
No matter how many people get shot there, they will never admit they are wrong about guns. Too dumb to be enviromentalists they elect an oil man for prez who spends his time devising ways to demonize gay people. And bush appeals appeals big time to a population the produces illiterate college grads. He is perfect leader for a nation who knows nothing about the world, because he doesnt either. A hawk tells him iraqis will greet the troops with flowers, he believes this and tells stupid americans the same thing. And dumb americans wonder why iraqis are shooting at them, they dont understand how an iraqi wouldnt be thrilled at be occupied. To hear americans talk about iraq, you would they actually did something to you 1st. What kind of world view can americans really have when most think saddam was behind 9-11?

[Imotep]

i wasnt very impressed with abu grahib.

ive known guys here is oz whove done military manouvers with yanks and they said they were all yehawin and high fivin the whole time lol.
i mean thats a cultural thing but its funny.

[sawleaf]

The crackbaby, you whole post was just bullshit and ignorance. I am not going to even go into it, because you don't seem like the type of person that would even listen. America doesn't give a fuck about you and neither do I.

[00Ampersand]

If it makes a difference sawleaf, I don't give a fuck about crackbaby either *sings: Crack baby...don't come back!...crack baby...break your back!...crack baby...don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more...hit the road jack!*
~007~