dude im nt really good at things like this but i dont want you to do something drastik and me not to have said anythink to stop you.

think of your happiest memorys...think of your most recent happy memories....think of your most happy recent memories with people.if you kill yourself there is no chance you or the people you were with are going o have times liek thast again. you can always make things happen if you put your mind to it.
what are you going to gain from killing yourself. if anythink just be a lil fucker and do whatever the fuck you want when you want.

trust me thats not such a bad thing, you said you keep letting ppl down right? so you WANT to make them happy....you know you can make sum1 happy if ou want to. basically turn yourself in2 a tool at times and just do shit.

duno if this has helped you but im sure birdgirl will help with her amazing touching words that she always delivers, or someone else older than me and better at dealing with these sort of issues.

also i think online is a good place to tlk bout shit like this cause at least then you havent told any1 irl and caused a issue about it because you might come to later regret these thoughts and be happy that no one that you know irl knew.

good luck m8