Time to move on is exactly right, Res. There's torture that we live through that is not our fault and then there's torturing ourselves for no reason. She's not looking back...so do yourself a favor and get out and have a good time. Meet some ppl, write your own new chapter. I think the best thing you need to realize is that you control how you feel, is this how you want to feel? I think you might feel safe in your sadness, it might be easier to say, "Whoas me." then to actually put effort into moving forward. Your asking too many questions and are not doing anything to change the situation. It's a bitch but you're going to have to deal with it or you'll be sitting in candlelight and posting these kinds of thoughts forever. And pour the rest of that Vodka down the drain.