Quote Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
if you don't wanna get brought down on christmas, skip this post... fair warning.
















still not alone, i never really knew my dad either.... infact, i had only seen
him two times until i was about 16, then he came back to texas, and he lived with us for a few months, then after i got out of jail (over a year later) he was stil 'here' but wasn't living with us... i got to know him alot better, and the more i knew, the less i liked of him, he wouldn't of been so bad, if he was just a friend or something, but he was a crackhead, literally.... then my brother died, and he went around to places they worked together (since they lived together, once my dad got a job, he'd get my brother a job there aswell) telling then of the story and getting 'donations' for a benefit he was holding.... in reality, he never held a benefit or had plans to do anything of the such.... he just wanted the money to buy his crack.... he used my brothers death (which everyone in the family KNOWS he's responsible for, shortly, he told some crack dealer he'd be back wtih the money and when he didn't show my brother got shot) to fuel his habbit... i'm not trying to bring anyone down, and actually when i'm done writing this i'm gonna put a warning at the top.... but yeah, i disowned him, told him if he ever stepped foot around my child, me, or my wife again, i'd kill him myself, and honestly, i fucking meant it...... and if he does... I WILL follow through with it, wasn't just a threat.....


basicly, i know what it is to grow up with a dad... it sucks you have to watch other 'male figures' to figure out what you should be like, when you should be watching your dad... i feel for you dude, it's a shitty way to grow up, but honestly, it makes you stronger, and it makes you a more unique person, you just have to use that in a constructive way.... not to preech or anything, i'm only 21.... i'm not much older then you... i just honestly feel it made me a better person, a chance to become my own man, rather learning from one male figure in my life (i.e. a father) just gotta know how to use that type of stuff to your advantage...
i dont know how it is to not have a dad in my life until the age of 16... but my parents got a divorse when i was about 5... and for about a month, during the begining of shool, he would try to tutor me, then after that month, he would just throw my books in the garbage... because he didnt know how to do my home work... and then he would quit helping me (BTW ive lived with my mom for all but 6 years of my life) and then back in arpil, of this year, he finaly thought he was up to the chalenge of taking me in full time, until the age of 18... along with my brother and sister...and yea, sure it was ok, when i wasnt thinking about my girl, or my old friends... and he wouldnt let me come back to my old town to vist with any one... and so u finaly said fuck... i put on my shoes, and walked out the door with a pack of ciggerets, a lighter, and 75 cents in my pocet, because he wouldnt let me call my GF on MY FUCKING CELL PHONE... and after that... life went down hill with him...we were constily getting in fist fights...yelling at each other, and a few times we both went to far, and were both looking for the keys for our lock boxes(witch both contain hand guns aand ammo) and then i gave up and left... then i came back after everything calmed down a little bit. but after a week... i didnt wake up in time for the bus... so we got im a fist fight over that...so he made me walk to school...about 2 miles away.... i walk about half a mile, and stop at the park, smoke a few ciggerets, and think, i end up walking back to my house after that... and then i grab some clothes... a jacket, a pipe, and scraped his bong, took a few shots, and hopped on a bus, and went back to my moms, the next day, i show up for court, and hes their, and he kicks me out of his house...

so for 11 years of my life... it was him just in my life for a little bit..now im back with my mom, around all of my old friends... making a few new friends... living my life how i used to... just injoying seeing girls i know... seeing my old drinkin smoking buddys, and making new ones...