I know someone who is suffering from what seems like the same thing your talkn about. He was a little depressed all his life...deffinetly medical, He used to be on anti depressents for years. Idk but I think he stopped taking them a few years back. Anyways He was smokn alot of weed for a vary long time and It seemed like it helped him and was something he really liked, But he quit that to and got paranoia,anxiety, and panic attacks. He didnt like people seeing him weak either it just set him off more.