dude, i can't believe i read all of that and at the end you still didn't ask her.
i think we all can relate to how incredibly nerve racking asking a 'girl we have feelings for' out really is. but at some point throughout each and everyone of our ordeals we had to make the decision to either step up or step down. and i'm just dissapointed, that even though you cared about her so much, you took the easy road out.
and now you may never know. that's rough. i feel for you.