Girl help

[robert42]

i hear u dutch!

[HighGuy]

Hi , 420purpHAZE420.
I read this first page of this thread and the last. So
I am correct in that you haven't asked her out? Man I feel were you are at.
Basically you are not in a great position. The "friend" thing going on with a girl you are attracted to is a quick prescription for frustration. Buddy ya gots
to be firm. Forget about asking her for a date. It's not a magic solution.
Just tell her. "(insert name) I have got to be completely honest. I DO NOT
want to be "friends" w/you. I'm crazy about you ( or whatever you think is appropriate). This , of course forces the issue. You do need a Yes or No
answer. If she's not warm for your form, It would probably be best to cut and run. You don't need to hear abour her dates or whatever she wants to tell about whoever she's messing with. You will only be depressed.
Be cordial, but it will be tough to remain friends, feeling the way you do.
Also there is lot to be said for not being so attainable. Chicks like aloof.
sincerely,
Bindar Dundat.

[greendove]

I'm going to be the oddball in this thread. I married my best friend, and I wouldn't have it ANY other way on the planet.

He had an extra ticket to a concert here in town, and invited me to go with. We had been best friends at this point for quite a while. At the bar afterwords, he says to me, "I have something to tell you. I am deeply, madly, and hopelessly in love with you." I then immediately responded that I respected him too much to give him the "you're such a great guy" speech. I was with another guy at the time. I didn't talk to my husband for about a month afterwords, because it was so weird. Then, we ran into one another at a party, and started talking again. My relationship at the time was falling apart, and that helped. We got back to "best friend" status, and about four months later, we were dating. (Actually, we skipped the dating process, and went straight to a serious relationship.)

The biggest thing to worry about here is that she's a high school girl. Teenage girls are especially crazy and insecure, with few exceptions. She may be hanging all over you because she likes the attention. Maybe she needs the reaffirmation that she's a pretty girl, and all that sort of high school insecurity. Chances are, if she does like you, she's probably terrified of making the first move.

The reason I avoided my husband for a month after he told me was because of the manner in which he told me. It was a bit too much and too intimidating, scared the crap out of me. So, don't do what he did. He's lucky it worked out alright. lol (actually, I'm pretty damn lucky, too.)

Instead, go with a more subtle approach to feel out the situation. Take her out to dinner, and pay for everything. Sit down with her and talk with her about what she's looking for in a guy. See if you fit the bill. Gaze into her eyes, and see if she gazes back, immediately looks away, or doesn't notice. If she doesn't notice, then that's bad news. There are ways to lead up to that first kiss which leaves plenty of bail time. Do it slowly, and see how she reacts. For GOD's sake, NEVER ask a woman, "Can I kiss you?". They will almost always freak out and say no. Going in for the slow kiss is often times the best and most honest indicator as to whether or not someone likes you back. She may be nuts about you, and not even know it herself until you've kissed. In matters of love, I've found that it's always better to act first, and talk about it later.

[JeenYuss]

kinda makes me wish i had female friends that werent so interested in having sex with me... sounds awkward but sometimes i jus like havin females that will jus hang out wit u n not b tryna do suttin wit u all tha time

like today i was hangin out wit sum friends that hang out wit my ex, n jus bein aroun her was kinda awkward, we both got a b/f an g/f but shes still always flirtin wit me n tellin me she loves me n shit we used ta have feelins for each other but now i dont n she still does idk i should start a new thread n c if ppl had this kinda shit happen

[420purpHAZE420]

ok, so i either just took a huge step forward or backwards...we were talking online n i was making fun of her about her date that she had on sat nite, but i was like, i wish ud date me or something expecting her 2 take it as a joke (ive done this a lot b4)...n then she was like wait do u want to go out with me?...n i was like who wouldnt want to go out with u (bc i was 2 scared to just say yes)...n then like it took her a while to anser n she said haha...so then i said seriously sometimes i think wat rong with me ur like my only friend thats a girl and u r beatiful, y dont i do something, but then i was like then theres other times wen ur mean...she then said haha i love and went to go shower...idk if this was a good conversation or a bad one, what do u guys think?

[420purpHAZE420]

i have been with you this far 420, but i think it's time to get over her. "she just wants a bf..." those chicks are the ones to stay FAR away from. #1 they are desperate for male attention (this seems to fit especially cause u mentioned much earlier how she flirts with lots of guys) and #2 they are the WORST girls to break up with. almost impossible. they're clingy, jealous, and generally insane once they get a bf.

does anyone else know what im talking about?

see thats the thing all my friends rite now have gfs and i want that myself rite now also...its good knowing u always have some1 instead of having to go out and find a random girl every weekend...ive never actually had a real gf b4 and i think its about time i do

[dutch.lover]

i feel for you....throughout high school i never really had a bf. I had one for a week in gr.9 but that was it. I finally got a bf in grade 12, but at that point i had almost given up all hope of ever getting one. So, don't give up, when you finally do get a gf I am sure she will be worth waiting for. Also, having lots of gfs/bfs is overrated... i mean, because i only had 1 bf in high school (the one i got in gr.12 i still have now), i only had to deal with one breakup. Breakups suck, so less bfs/gfs=less heartache. That's just something else to ponder...if you don't feel totally serious about someone, it's not worth going out with them- it will probably end soon anyways.

[greendove]

i feel for you....throughout high school i never really had a bf. I had one for a week in gr.9 but that was it. I finally got a bf in grade 12, but at that point i had almost given up all hope of ever getting one. So, don't give up, when you finally do get a gf I am sure she will be worth waiting for. Also, having lots of gfs/bfs is overrated... i mean, because i only had 1 bf in high school (the one i got in gr.12 i still have now), i only had to deal with one breakup. Breakups suck, so less bfs/gfs=less heartache. That's just something else to ponder...if you don't feel totally serious about someone, it's not worth going out with them- it will probably end soon anyways.

Not to mention that VERY few people actually end up with their high school sweetheart nowadays. If you're in high school, then chances are good that, even if you do get together, it'll end badly eventually.

[greendove]

ok, so i either just took a huge step forward or backwards...we were talking online n i was making fun of her about her date that she had on sat nite, but i was like, i wish ud date me or something expecting her 2 take it as a joke (ive done this a lot b4)...n then she was like wait do u want to go out with me?...n i was like who wouldnt want to go out with u (bc i was 2 scared to just say yes)...n then like it took her a while to anser n she said haha...so then i said seriously sometimes i think wat rong with me ur like my only friend thats a girl and u r beatiful, y dont i do something, but then i was like then theres other times wen ur mean...she then said haha i love and went to go shower...idk if this was a good conversation or a bad one, what do u guys think?

Dude, I missed this post earlier. I think that you had your opportunity right there, and pussied out of it. All I can say is to keep flirting, and wait for your next golden window.

[420purpHAZE420]

do u guys think asking her out online would b that bad? i mean like if i couldnt say yes i want 2 go out with u online, how can i ever do it in person?