Is this REALLY just about the smell?

In my house smoking is cool but everyone knows that the kitchen is the preferred area because there's nothing upholstered in there to get all stanked up.
I think you should just, very seriously, and not to be a jerk, just ask her if it is really honestly the smell she objects to, or the fact that you smoke at all, or -"and please don't be mad honey"- whether she just feels that she is competing with the weed, or needs a little more control over the household. Because there are other ways to have control without being bossy, like taking on more responsiblities around the house and making OTHER important decisions.
Just my thoughts on the matter. Just booted my BF because damn it is MY house and he was breaking MY rules (like don't steal my shit and don't lie about your drinking).

I suggest also that you hint to her that a BETTER vaporizer would be a lovely Christmas present and a nice compromise, hint hint....