I hear ya man. Ask your Dr. if he can lower the doses...sometimes they are upped because of the breaks and can be lowered after you've returned to "normal". The drugs are stone-aged shite, they work but they take a huge toll. They tend to make people extremely tired, which increases the caffeine intake which decreases the effects of the drugs....a vicious circle. I have some friends trying to work out the chemistry of some future antipsychotics which don't leave a person lifeless. In time, the effects begin to lessen, but it takes a long time to build up a tolerance. Lithium seems to be the lesser evil, but then you have to have a blood test on a regular basis. The worst thing that can be done is to use alcohol while on the meds. Depressants are no go's. Keep your chin up though, help isn't too far away! Peace!

Oh yeah, interesting bit of information: more than 2/3's of people who have used LSD more than 3 times in their lives have wound up with a "self-induced chemical imbalance" that has led to bi-polar disorder.