You know, I sometimes feel the same way. Sitting at home alone all the time cannot be healthy. I often feel like I don't even know what I really want and have no way to even tell!

I feel crazy. I understand you, really. Sometimes I just want to cry. I am kind of feeling the same way. I feel like everyone is moving ahead and I just suck and I am not doing shit.

I think you should tell your parents what made you angry, and if you are scared to do that, maybe I suggest you seeing someone to get help. My parents were shitty parents too, but my mom did her best, despite all the fuck ups. I am only realizing lately how my childhood has really affect who I am now, I never knew why I was so different than everyone else. I think I am finally at a point where I realize I need to go seek help and really talk out what the hell is going on in my head, because I feel so freakin' nuts.

I don't think you should feel like a doormat, you should feel good for being such a strong person that you have been able to put your own feelings aside and help others and always be the back bone. I don't really know you, I am just assuming thats what you do. That can take a toll on anyone ya know? I used to always feel used to the point where I just gave up. I stopped calling people, I stopped making an effort..to where the only people in my life really are people who have forced themselves upon me, and I thank them for that.

I don't feel like I even have the trust in other people to go out and seek new friendships, I just feel like I'm not PEOPLE compatible sometimes.

It's a nice thought to have a bunch of friends and shit, but in the end, really...I just prefer to be alone I think. It's my own fault that I am alone all the time....

I don't really know where I am going with this...I think I just caught this post at a very odd moment where my feelings are all over the place.

I stay up all night...sleep all day....spend all my life on this goddamned machine.
Blah, just keep your head up.

Reality is how you percieve it, and I believe it...and..I made my own reality..and if I want to be unhappy with it than I suppose it's my fault and no one else and only I have the power to truly make myself happy. No matter where you are, if you are feeling a certain way..it's not going to change by picking up all your shit and moving 300 miles away(which is what I did)...

Same story, different place.

Just gotta do what you gotta do I guess. Maybe find some activities in life that you really enjoy and are self fulfilling...and be more expressive of your feelings.

I'm crazy.