Ive been down and out these past couple of days and very bitchy at times. I feel like Im standing still while evreyone else is moving foward. Its like Im in a movie and Im paused but everyone else around me isnt.

I have also been having problems with feeling like a doormat. I do it to myself and I know I do. But I cant seem to change that part. I feel like Im invisible sometimes. Looked over and forgot about. Its just that I spend all day at home by myself, no neighbors to talk to, no friends to talk to, nothing just me, my dogs, the tv, and the computer. No one calls me unless they have a problem or want something. I think being alone all the time is bringing on some sort of depression. You would think that being alone all the time would make me want to go out but the way Im feeling right now I just want to stay home.

I had one of those days where I just cried. I brokedown and my husband probably thinks Im some kind of crazy person right now. Its just so many things I have let build up inside of me and its starting to leak out, and I dont see the light at the end of the tunnel, I think someone turned it off. Im trying really hard to be strong infront of people but inside Im becoming weak.

All my life I have been the cruch. When someone in my family is having problems Im there for them anytime and help any way I possibly can. There is so much drama going on its driving me up the wall. I would love nothing more than to snap my fingers and everything be ok.

I have alot of things that happened while growing that really bothers me and I want to say something but for some reason I choose not too. My parents were not the best parents and I was used as a pawn in alot of my moms affairs. I was the excuse to get out of the house to go meet random guys and meet all these weirdos. She once told my dad I was sick and needed to go to the hospital. I wasnt sick she just wanted to drive 5 hrs to meet some guy she thought she was in "love" with.

I always wanted to tell my dad what she was doing and did on a few occasions, which turned into WW3 and then I decided to just keep my mouth shut. I hated watching them fight cause it would get ugly and I was always in the middle of it. I have always wanted to tell my parents especially my mom how angry I am at them for the things that have happened but I cant bring myself to do it. I dont want to piss no one off, or hurt no ones feelings, but it seems like no one cares if they hurt mine.
Sorry for the rambling but I just really wanted to get a few things out.
Dro_Princess Reviewed by Dro_Princess on . Bad day just need to vent Ive been down and out these past couple of days and very bitchy at times. I feel like Im standing still while evreyone else is moving foward. Its like Im in a movie and Im paused but everyone else around me isnt. I have also been having problems with feeling like a doormat. I do it to myself and I know I do. But I cant seem to change that part. I feel like Im invisible sometimes. Looked over and forgot about. Its just that I spend all day at home by myself, no neighbors to talk Rating: 5