You are better off figuring this out now, rather than after getting hitched and having to do a divorce (possibly with kids). You hit it right on the head- "I can't afford to be with someone whose honesty and loyalty even are doubtful". There is only trouble in a relationship if honesty and loyalty are a problem. There is no relationship, if there is no trust! On top of this, he drinks (at a bar?) when he is upset-that is a red flag right there for later alcoholism! He refuses to communicate on issues that are important to you. (What does this say about his opinion of you, as a thinking, feeling, human being?) At best, you were in a 60/40 relationship. I think you are lucky getting out when you did. In a few days, when the shock has worn off, get out of the house- go to a party and mingle. (There are lots of parties this time of year- I don't want to hear any excuses out of you, young lady! You get out there and party! :jointsmile: ) I will have been married for 40 years in a few weeks. You just gotta find the right one! Staying at home and being bummed is not going to help you find him. - Granny Storm Crow :stoned: