Well that's the end of that. I want to cry.

[stinkyattic]

Sad news... in case anyone wants to hear my misery...
Last night my dear boyfriend, who I love very much, and I finally called it quits after living together for more than 2 years.

It was a sweet love story too... we met at Okemo ski resort in Vermont while he was working there as a snow-maker and I was skipping work to ski the first day of the season.

He had the absolute worst pickup line that I had ever EVER heard... "How do you like the snow? I made it. Wanna share a lift?" And it worked.

He is the person responsible for changing my attittude towards the Herb from "I don't mind it but don't use it" to appreciating the value it has for helping me with my anxiety.

And when I started my garden, it was he who was always there doing the electrical wiring and making sure it was to state code.

But he has always been terrible with money and would rather lie about hard issues, or get in his truck and drive away and go drink beers, than just talk about them... It's breaking my heart to see him go but I need to take care of my own future.

I think everyone eventually comes to a time in his or her life where you're in a relationship and you start asking yourself, "sure my partner is a sweet person but can I see myself married to them? Or having a family together?" And I'm kind of starting to feel my age and ask those questions... and as much as I tell myself that he could change, and grow, and be the man I want.. I don't want to have to force it. And it has already been so long that -well- it's been long enough to expect SOME light at the end of the tunnel.

So that's it. I can't afford to be with someone whose honesty and loyalty even are doubtful, especially with the garden and having so much to lose- my entire life savings is tied up in my home, and the State could seize it if anything ever happened.

I guess it's kind of a sad fairy tale for anyone who is considering growing any more than about a small closet of plants, too. I'm afraid I am going to be alone for a LOOOONG time before I find someone I can really trust.

So Jeff, this one's for you. I'll miss ya, big guy.

stinkyattic Reviewed by stinkyattic on 12-06-2006. Well that's the end of that. I want to cry. Sad news... in case anyone wants to hear my misery... Last night my dear boyfriend, who I love very much, and I finally called it quits after living together for more than 2 years. It was a sweet love story too... we met at Okemo ski resort in Vermont while he was working there as a snow-maker and I was skipping work to ski the first day of the season. He had the absolute worst pickup line that I had ever EVER heard... "How do you like the snow? I made it. Wanna share a lift?" And it Rating: 5

[sdhall36]

I can't even begin to say how sorry I feel, I am so sorry babes - be strong, and go with your heart (and I know you are doing).
So many people on here love you and your rounded attitude, firey yet tollerant nature.
It does happen and it's sure as hell happened to me - Jan is wonderful but it's taken me 40 years to find her.
You are caring, sensitive, deep, intelligent, and most of all VERY thoughtful underneath that "Tom-Boy" exterior.

My heart goes out to you, and I shall think of you and your kindness always.

forever your friend and companion in whatever path you should choose from now on.

Love and light - Hall and Jan x x x x

[stinkyattic]

Thanks sweetie. You just finally pushed me over the edge and I'm getting teary. I can't believe how caring the growers on this site are. It's good you have you around.

[Shovelhandle]

Sorry to hear that, Stinky. Our oldest daughter had that happen when she was your age. The guy was ok, but they didn't have that chemistry for a family future and they split.
She just got married a couple of weeks ago to a young man (10 years younger) that she's been with for the last six years or so. Your partner will come along, I'm sure.

Meanwhile my best regards, hoping you get feeling good-great soon.

Shov

[Mnoutdoorz]

sdhall is right we all love you and what you bring to the community. Be strong hun I know it's hard but you have to look out for number one and I think you're handling the situation both fairly to you and him. Your soulmate is out there and it's just a test of patience till you find him. And us growers know all about patience. Take care dear we're all hear for ya! ::hugs::

[Dutch Pimp]

..I always found..January..is a good month..to start a new life...

I do it almost every year.....

[sdhall36]

Yes DP - totally right

H

[doco]

Oh man, that's so sad and I feel for you Stinky. Those are tough choices to have to make but you are obviously a smart & strong woman so I am sure you are making the correct one. My thoughts and my prayers will be with you as you walk through this. (yes, I do pray & meditate). I'm sure you already know that the hurt will pass...it feels like crap today but it won't always be that way. You will have much happiness ahead of you & the person meant for you may be just around the bend.

Don't hold back the tears...it's good for the soul to embrace the pain and recognize our frail humanity.

[Arklenao2]

now i feel sad

[stinkyattic]

I think after work I am going to head over and plant myself in front of my neighbor's woodstove and drink hot cocoa and feel sorry for myself.
Until 7:30 when the lights come on and it's time to get the flower room aired out.
Man I don't know what I'd do without friends. Especially friends who keep lots of chocolate at their houses.
I just got a phone call from Jeff's dad inviting us to dinner Friday. That was depressing to have to tell him that there really isn't an 'us' any more.