Hi everyone,

I am so depressed lately. I have been in school forever, forever and ever, and I have at least a year and a half left, probably two.

I feel so hopeless about it, I hate it, it's such a chore to go every day without a break to collect my sanity and self-esteem. Anyway, it's a long story, suffice it to say I have been plenty depressed lately.

So I started - well, first it was alcohol. Then I started smoking cigs. Then weed.

Now I want to quit the cigs, but it's damn hard when I'm stressed out, well, it's damn hard anyway. So when I smoke the cigs it doesn't really help, cause then I feel worse about myself for picking up such a self-destructive habit.

My part-time job makes me feel crappy, I won't elaborate, but it makes me feel like crap.

Well then, so I started smoking weed. At first, this was great. It took my mind off shit. So it was nice.

Well, after awhile, I started to realize what a crock of shit this was, all this school stuff, and I feel like rather than take my mind off my problems, the weed makes me see them differently, like, "life was meant to be enjoyed, so why am I doing something that makes me miserable?"

Yeah... school has long-term benefits, but makes me miserable in the short term. Is it worth it? I keep asking myself. So pointless this far into it to quit, and yet, so pointless to stay.

Whatever. So I think the amotivational syndrome trumpeted by anti-weed activists isn't really laziness on my part, but rather a realization that I don't really enjoy what I am doing with my life. I think I would not have come to this realization without using weed.

What do you guys think about any of that?

And, what do you think I could do to boost my self-esteem? I smoke about once a day (after school or in the evening), drink a couple times a week, and smoke cigs whenever I feel like it (1-2 packs per week right now). I don't have a lot of free time and I definitely don't have a lot of energy unless I smoke up to get some energy. I am emotionally drained when I get home and smoking up is the only way for me to recharge, sadly.

And no, I'm not high right now.
TheSmokingMonkey Reviewed by TheSmokingMonkey on . end of semester depression Hi everyone, I am so depressed lately. I have been in school forever, forever and ever, and I have at least a year and a half left, probably two. I feel so hopeless about it, I hate it, it's such a chore to go every day without a break to collect my sanity and self-esteem. Anyway, it's a long story, suffice it to say I have been plenty depressed lately. So I started - well, first it was alcohol. Then I started smoking cigs. Then weed. Now I want to quit the cigs, but it's damn Rating: 5