Quote Originally Posted by crudemood
Ah, I'm feeling the same way. Seems like no one ever gets me for some reason because maybe I'm a natural loner at heart. I, too, only have a few people I can trust and be comfortable around. Theres two of me, the real me and the fake me that I use alot more. Would people know its me? Probably not. I don't think anyone knows whats going on in my head either. No one takes the time to anymore.
I understand that completly. People know the public me but thats because they never really cared to want to know the real me. I keep alot of things unsaid in my life and I get on the internet and vent about it on here or when I chat online. There is no use for me to say things to people when they piss me off or are doing something I find annoying or just wrong, because Im like invisible or something. At family gathers Ill be talking to someone and then al of a sudden people are talking over me and interupting me so I just give up.

Alot of people who "know" me would say that Im the funny one who makes people laugh and that Im so nice and caring blah blah blah. I use my humor to hide everything else that is going to shit in my life. Ill be telling someone about something that is bothering me and they never hear a word of it, they usually interupt me with some stupid thing like OMG guess what happened to me today. I want to say who gives a fuck I thought we were talking about something Im haveing a problem with. But I dont I polietly let them finish and listen to them. By the time there done talking they want to get off the phone or they have to leave.

I would say the only person who knows the real me is my husband. He is the only one who actually listens to me and sees all the bullshit I put up with. He actually cares about me and my feelings, not what he can gain from me. Im the family doormat and thats because I allow it. For some reason I let them run over me. Maybe its because I hate drama, or the fact that I hate hurting people feelings. Im just too nice I guess.