Quote Originally Posted by TallulahGreen
I have suffered from anxiety my whole life. I remember laying in bed as a little kid trying to talk myself into calming down...thinking I was having a heart attack..thinking I was dying....I was afraid to sleep.

I remember my mom telling me it was anxiety...and I was so glad that I wasn't dying!!

I hate how anxiety attacks make me be irrational. I will just start freaking out and nothing can make me feel better..it's like once I start down that dark hole...It is just going to get really bad.

It is gotten so bad that mid freakout I will just open up a bottle of pillls and put them all in my mouth. Why? I don't know..it's not even like a thought process happens...
...I just have this horrible feeling of wanting to be out of my head...be anywhere but my head...this horrible feeling overcomes my whole body...I start to uncontrollably shake..and I start to hyperventalate...and my breathing gets all fucked up...
Sometimes ill just flail and just go out of control.

I like to be destructive...throw things...break things...hit things.

I hate it...and now that I live by myself..when I get anxiety attacks I just try to call anyone I can to get them to talk me into calming down.

I should probably go get help...but I don't think anything will help me...but, I know I have a problem...
You should maybe go and talk to someone about that...
If you think there are going to be problems.

I have a similar feeling somtimes....I have never thought of it as panic attacks
before. I guess I never "really" knew what they felt like until I read this thread.
My feeling is like a really bad trip...where you feel numb, cold, lonely and like you are dying...I hadn't felt like it untill I had a really bad trip and since then I felt it on a couple of occasions...

lol just thought id type for a bit