All I know is I really feel like I'm going insane. I keep trying to stop thinking about death and all the negativity around me but it's just not working. It feels like maybe all this I'm doing is just a perception, but it's really all mines. Like this is my world and when I shut down it shuts down. I usually think what I am doing my mind is creating and everyone and everything is what I have created. It's strange and I dunno how to explain it. I think I should lay off the Juana .