Yea for me it was the trust thing with parents, I know what you're talking about.

I lost it again after I was building it up, they just found a little bud i brought on vacation.

I don't really care about their trust anymore, just 9 more months and I will rarely have to see them again (i mean i can see them when i want to, not 24/7, i mean i don't even really get time to be alone, they're aaaaallways home.)