My favorite way to cook SPAM is called "canning it". Instructions:

1. Open can of SPAM.
2. Open lid of trash can.
3. Empty ENTIRE contents of can into trash.
4. Pour 3 cups of gasoline.
5. Stir slowly.
6. Light match and drop in.

Optional step 7: Kick the crap out of the trash can and NEVER EAT THAT SHIT AGAIN.

Any questions?