Irish Wit

[Lulu]

Ok, it's about time we started a decent 'Irish Joke Thread'

I'll begin, shall I?

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, lookin' like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walkin' with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Connor and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little shit, O'Connor," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you!
He must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy... "Mrs. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

Lulu Reviewed by Lulu on 11-11-2004. Irish Wit Ok, it's about time we started a decent 'Irish Joke Thread' :rolleyes: I'll begin, shall I? :p Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, lookin' like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walkin' with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Connor and me had a fight," says Paddy. Rating: 5

[miccheck]

did you hear about the magic tractor?




It went around the corner and turned into a field

[kuulbns]

Being as it was a fair day, Father Donovan went out to visit with his parishioners. All went well till he came to the Finnegans house. It was obvious that someone was to home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked repeatedly. Finally he took out his pen and paper and wrote a note, Revelation 3:20 and stuck it in the door.
The next Sunday as he was counting the offering he found his note in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation, Genesis 3:10.
Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If any man hears my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him and will dine with him and he with me."
Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked!"

[Lulu]

An attractive young woman walks up to a male member of staff in a rural pub
Indicating to him to lower his head to hersâ?¦.
â??Are you the manager?, she asks, running her fingers thru her hairâ?¦â?¦
â??Noâ??, he replies
â??Can you get him for me?â??, she asks stroking his face and allowing 2 fingers
to slip into his mouth so he can suck them gently.
â??No sorryâ??, he replies, clearly aroused
â??Can I give him a message?â??
â??Yesâ??, she says, smiling sweetly
â??Tell him thereâ??s no toilet roll or soap in the ladiesâ?¦â?¦â?¦â??