If you were God?

[sm0k1t]

Would you demand worship? Nope, but I would suggest that love is the way to go. Loving all that is part of life makes the world go round and in love there is many paths to take

Would you punish? I think that the time that is givin on earth belongs to what is on earth... who am I to interfere in the material world when it works fine by itself...my realm is the spiritual world and so when the dead comes to me I will measure the vibrations of the soul...

Would you ever destroy the world? Nature can do that without my help so nope I would not interfere...its kind of a cause and effect...screw the nature up and it will screw you to your grave.

Would you ever answer prayers? yes and no. when you want somethin you gota work for it... if its impossible then it aint for you in this life bro. But I might give you a hint on how to do it if you listen very carefully. Watched the film sign with mel gibson..kinda like that.

Would you enjoy the fragrance of good bud? I am the bud...I am the fragrance and I am a vibration of joy.

Would you Love all of humanity even w/o a belief in you or Jesus? I would love all humanity of course since its the way to go. For the unbeliever.. well they will be surprise when they face judgement but they wont be hated or sent to hell or wathever if they loved themselves and other things in life. I did give free will and reason so I am aware of the infinite possibities that might guide one to other beliefs.

:rasta:

[Mosiah]

If I were god in a christian sense, I wouldn't have been so fucking stupid as to give humans an overwhelming sense of curiousity and tell them not to eat certain fruits..

[JunkYard]

Alright, the big guys decision is in. He looked through all of your apps, and took a peak into your personal files, but he ended up going with a young lady in Michigan. This is a temporary replacement, but expect changes soon!!!

Forwarning: There will be a slight hell to pay about three days every month. But only because she can't help it.

What can you say, it's that friggin curse, man! :wtf:


Junk~

[delusionsofNORMALity]

does this mean that fewer incidents of fire and brimstone, devastating floods and plagues, and a general decline in heavenly wrath? i suppose it was bound to happen, but why choose someone from michigan of all places. i hope this really is a temporary situation and doesn't signify a radical shift from the patriarchal institution we have all come to know and love.

p.s. -

does this mean that all adherents to the muslim faith must now face detroit during their prayers or is this just a christian thing?

[JunkYard]

Well, I sat down with the big guy, he's a facinating individual btw, and he said there was never any type of heavenly wrath in the first place, lol! I asked about the flood, and sodom and gamora, and the 10 plagues and so forth, he said friggin mankind man!! They always blamed me for this type of shit!!

Then I asked about the forbidden fruit, and he was fairly hush hush about this one. He said "You guys have to figure that one out on your own, but I'll give you a hint", and he said absolutely nothing. Ha, go figure! He probably lost his train of thought. He had sipping on some tequilla with lime juice beforehand.

Now to you question. The chick has no idea what sh'es doing, man! The big guy said this himself. She's one of those who think the big guy is a power tripping sadist, so there's no telling what we're in for. She actually made the comment that she's gonna do things they way he did them.

Oh brother, she still believes in fire and brimstone, and plagues, and heavenly wrath towards the so called wicked. I suspect she'll be cool until that time of month, but who knows...


Ch ch ch changes....

[delusionsofNORMALity]

yeah, the big guy's a hoot. he likes to act all mysterious and shit, but he's really a bit of a goof ball. i am a bit concerned about this new girl though. i hope this is just a bit of first day jitters, but it seems to be raining fire and my living room is knee deep in locust. with any luck she'll get the bugs (no pun intended) out of the system and things will be back to normal soon. well i've gotta run, the rain just turned to blood and it's staining the carpets.

by the way, is he still partial to patron? i was thinking of sending him a little present and if he's gone back to the cheap stuff i can save myself a few bucks.

[JunkYard]

He's been drinking Jose Cuervo Black lately, bro. I bought him a bottle about a week ago. He loves the stuff, too. He likes lime juice with his, but no salt...go figure, lol!

I know what you mean about the new girl, man. Things have been weird around here this morning. I swear, she just starts and already we have a blood red sky. What that means I have no clue, or maybe she just thought it was pretty./shrug

I also notice a few butterflies. I mean wtf! Its Feburary for Gods sake!!! She may be bringing spring in early this year, which won't be bad...just a little odd is all.

Good luck getting the stains out , man. you should send her the bill. Just talk to the big guy and he'll back you up. (A bottle a Cuervo black should help) I got his new nimber somewhere...Geesh, where did I put that thing??

He's down in mexica right now, I'll have to find the addy to. Wait, did he leave you his forwarding address? Surely he did, I mean you guys are pretty tight right?

[delusionsofNORMALity]

the ruined carpets and drapes i could put up with, but now she's gone entirely too far. i just looked out my front door and saw a bunch of guys in helmets and funny white dresses nailing my gardener jesus to a cross. who the hell's gonna mow the lawn?! i think this broad has watched too many charlton heston movies. i tried texting the big guy, but i think he's drunk. probably shacked up with a hooker in tj.

well, i've gotta get to work. hopefully the big dude will be sobered up soon and we can get this whole thing sorted out. just in case, you might keep an eye out for stray lightning bolts. i plan on keeping my head down 'til.... damn it, now it's raining frogs and i forgot to put new wiper blades on the truck. will this shit never end!?

[JunkYard]

o.k. all the butterflies just exploded mid-air!! :wtf: and the blood red sky is now black as night!! My truck won't start and the water out of my faucet has turned to wine...the shitty tasting stuff!!

and yeah, the big guy is with a couple hookers right now. I talked Micheal, you know the angel. He's been keeping tabs on God; I think he's worried about him getting into trouble down here. If you've ever been around him while he's sloshed, he's got quite an attitude, and those TJ officials won't put up with it from an old gringo like him. Man, you better head down there and talk some sense into him. This chick is messin with my mind, and poor Jesus!!

"Big guy, are you there?"

Oh shit!! A pissed off feminine voice just came from the sky, and said "I'M GOD NOW, DEAL WITH IT!!! Man oh man! I think we're screwed, bro!!

[mrdevious]

[i]Would you demand worship?

No, just offer my guidance. If I instil fear of punishment for not worshipping me, how would I really know who's on my side?

Would you punish?

No, I think punishment is a primitive idea for a primitive race. Currently a necessary evil I guess. Point is, revenge is a petty self-indulgent notion that doesn't seem very godly to me. Initiating change for the better is where it's at, otherwise you have people trying to control through punishment with ever-so-wise ideas like the war on drugs.

Would you ever destroy the world?

Probably not. I mean, if you're god you could reform it to any way you see fit, right?

Would you ever answer prayers?

I don't know the most efficient means of public interaction, I guess I'd have to be god to know that. With my current limited knowledge, I suppose I'd set up a system of proportional democratic representation and discuss the issues with the leaders.

Would you enjoy the fragrance of good bud?

I would eliminate all the drawbacks of weed (not to mention hallucinogens and opiates), grow the finest strains for my people in the garden that is Earth, and enjoy them in human form with my people every so often (perhapse is some type of ceremony).

Would you Love all of humanity even w/o a belief in you or Jesus?

I would do my best to guide humanity in a direction that is beneficial to all. I would treat them with love and compassion, and try to get them to do the same for each other. Those who comit evil would not be hated by me, and I would discourage others from hating them to. After all, when you get a disease, is the best course of action to hate the disease, or follow a logical course of action to cure it? Hatred is a natural response, even a justifiable response regarding reasonable reaction, but I don't believe it's logically justifiable.

All applications will be viewed by the Big guy if I can get him to put the Tequila down for a few.

I picture god as more of a peyote guy:thumbsup: