I've got the job? Okay...there are some fundamental problems to fix, but we'll deal with the problems at hand first. Let's go down to accounting and see if the books are cooked.

Would you demand worship? Worship? What's that? I'm the Supreme Being-you think I'm an insecure egomaniac who needs to be stroked to feel comfortable? Have you checked out those crazy fucks doing the worshiping? They'd just as soon kill you as look at ya. This worship crap has got to go. It's some scarry shit.

Would you punish? Would you punish in an afterlife, or let a persons actions and natural consequence of those actions suffice? Is sin applicable?

Punish? For what? Yeah that guy's an axe murderer but were you there when he was dumped in a trash can with an umbilical chord around his neck? Did you see him get raped by a priest when he was seven and beaten every day of his life? The guy before me put Cause and Effect into place. I'm not going to punish a bunch of hairless monkeys for his fuck ups.

And that guy over there doesn't believe in my predecessor? You think I'm going to punish him for using the brain he was given? No, that boy gets a gold star for not being stupid and having the courage to examine the evidence, admit the facts, and, hopeless as it is, try to handle life on his own. He's going to get cremed but at least he's got a set and I admire the hell out of him.

Would you ever destroy the world? There's a lot of evil in the world, but would you destroy it, or would you let mankind work it out themselves?

Can't destroy the World. There's the Rainbow Clause from Genisis and that whole Noah debacle that's still in effect. My predecessor has always been itching to wipe it all out and start over, but we're going to work with what we've got.

Would you ever answer prayers? A lot of people pray and ask for things; would you answer or just let things work out on their own in their own time?

Now that would be something I would have to do. It was pretty chickenshit dumping a soul down here on it's own without even a word of acknowledgement or letting them know 'I've got your back-don't sweat it.' Of course the crazy fuckers down there don't have a clue what they really want or need, so granting wishes would be limited. I'm taking everybody off the 'Ignore list' though. They've at least got that coming.


Would you enjoy the fragrance of good bud? There are a lot of people smoking these days, and many do it to help the connect spiritually. Would you shun this practice, or appreciate the fact that they're enjoying one of the finest herbs in existance, and using it to connect, for medicinal purposes, and for natural relaxation?

Well, I'm God and don't need it, but it was a nice little perk my predecessor got right. God knows *cough* I mean I know they need it after the fucking over they get on a daily basis.

Would you Love all of humanity even w/o a belief in you or Jesus? This is the really BIG question. There are many who don't believe, so do you think it is fair for the unbelievers to live w/o your Love, or would you Love them just the same?

Believe in Jesus? That's a BIG question? Oh, that religious bullshit someone invented to scare people into going to Church. Geez, someone gets a few kudos for saying 'hey, maybe we should all be nice to each other'..and look what they turn it into. Well, you can't blame them considering the hopeless desperation they have to live in daily. But it really took some sadistic, conniving fucks to come up with that 'believe in Jesus or go to hell' bullshit.

Yep, looks like it's going to be one hell of a job straightening out all this mess. The balance started off beautifully, but that didn't last long, did it? The guy before me shouldn't have given those monkeys an advanced brain. Now they want a piece of the action and they're screwing it all up. He thought he was being clever by putting a governor on it to limit its functions, but it looks like that's where he blew it.

That and the 'life feeds on life' thing. Maybe that wouldn't have been such a fuck up if he had never invented 'suffering and fear'. Love was a nice idea the monkeys came up with on their own. To bad it doesn't work when one of the main precedents of existence down there is Survival of the Fittest.

Okay, where to begin, where to begin? Yes, let's start with Hope. But this time we'll make it real instead of just a muse. Assemble the staff for a meeting. Pink slips are going out and heads are going to roll!