If you were God?

[delusionsofNORMALity]

well, the day went pretty well. i had to dodge a couple of stray lightning bolts, but i've lived through worse. when i got home i found that my gardener was fine. he's got some nasty scars, but he'll be ok. he has picked up a couple of new tricks along the way, i found him standing in the middle of my swimming pool when i got home and my begonias are all dead because my irrigation system now seems to spray cheap merlot all over the place. other than that, the home front seems to be all right.

the big problem seems to be with the big guy. i finally got ahold of him and it seems the old fart's fallen in love. seems he found some sweet young thing down in tj named maria (what is this thing he has about girls named mary?) and he claims to be head over heels in love. well; it looks like we can expect a new messiah in about nine months, but that's not the worst of it. he says he's planning to take a little vacation until the delivery.

i tried to reason with him, but you know how it is with deities in love. i even told him that odin had come out of retirement looking for converts (you know how much he hates that old blow hard), but even that didn't seem to interest him. he said he'd keep an eye on the new broad, but the last i saw of him he was headed back south humming that stupid tune from west side story.

i don't think the old bastard's gonna be much help. if i were you i'd invest in some asbestos undies, there's a smell of brimstone in the air.

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

if i was god, i'd probably use my omnipotence to eliminate existence itself and let only absolutely nothing be.

OR, i'd go gung ho with my power and create this existence, only difference is i would have a physical incarnation and in general rule the universe, have fun and all that shit, i'd make some ungodly killer bud that just RIPS through you and makes the best bud on earth seem like tobacco.

[greenman:D]

I do not belive in a god, i think that man kind are too smart for there own good,people that are suppsosed to be dying are being treated , machines keeping them alive medicines fixing people.
Gods created in peoples sub consious as a after life so they do not have to deal with the fact that they will die and be no longer in existance there for creating a virtual world after death eases there mind.
(just my opinion)
But if i was god i would create some massive disease to cull back human breeding as in fact we are a plague if we were any other speacies we would have culled them back, this planet is infected/over populated and is slowly dieing, we are out own worst enemy.When earths greenhouse gives in and we all fry we will see if there is a god.

[Gatekeeper777]

I would DEMAND that you worship me. After all I would be GOD! If you did not i would smite you with poorly growing plants.


if you were guilty of sin i would give you an afterlife of smoking nothing but ditch dirt.

No bodys perfect not even the world i would leave it but would plant more ganja.

yes i wold answer prayer but only if my followers burnt incence and gave burnt offerings of the finest herb.

If i made it i would enjoy the fragrance, i made all things holy, mankind made them evil.
I would love humanity some even twice if they were good enough.roflmao

[mrdevious]

Oh yeah, I forgot something..... I would also render everybody impotent who had a gene structure that was detrimental to the human race.... maybe just for a couple generations or so, give humanity that extra edge:thumbsup: .

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

I do not belive in a god, i think that man kind are too smart for there own good,people that are suppsosed to be dying are being treated , machines keeping them alive medicines fixing people.
Gods created in peoples sub consious as a after life so they do not have to deal with the fact that they will die and be no longer in existance there for creating a virtual world after death eases there mind.
(just my opinion)
But if i was god i would create some massive disease to cull back human breeding as in fact we are a plague if we were any other speacies we would have culled them back, this planet is infected/over populated and is slowly dieing, we are out own worst enemy.When earths greenhouse gives in and we all fry we will see if there is a god.

people do not just disappear from existence. they decompose.
Game over.
Try again?

[notransfer]

I'm taking applications for the position of God over the next few months. The first one [God] created everything, but he's getting tired, and has found out about Tequila & lime juice, and well, he really likes the bottle nowdays. He's looking for a replacement as you can't very well govern too good when sloshed, right? He's been doing all kinds of crazy stuff lately...

Anyway, I have a few simple questions about your new position. You must answer each to be considered.

[i]Would you demand worship? I would appreciate acknowledgement...
but may very well be friends with other deities...working hand in hand

Would you punish? hurting psychologically and physically would be punished in a form of karma reincarnation

Would you ever destroy the world? naturally the world I created would have the capacity for a inhabitant triggered apocalyptic chaos...what i believe we are facing now, and it is up to the inhabitants to avoid this chaos if they so choose to live and prosper

Would you ever answer prayers? my world, prayers would be answered by the ones asking the prayer if they lived in accordance with the law I have imagined in a form of karma blessings

Would you enjoy the fragrance of good bud? Jah is a prophet friend of mine

Would you Love all of humanity even w/o a belief in you or Jesus? Belief in me would be hit or miss, but based on good living humanity, chances are being a good person would hit on worshipping me without direct worship persay, I would love all humanity as I do now for its ability to possibly lead a good life and be helpful to the many forms of life around him or her..Jesus would be a buddy deity and we'd probably just shrug and hope for the best when it came to the ones who chose not to adopt a peaceful, non violent existance

???

[jdmarcus59]

I'm taking applications for the position of God over the next few months. The first one [God] created everything, but he's getting tired, and has found out about Tequila & lime juice, and well, he really likes the bottle nowdays. He's looking for a replacement as you can't very well govern too good when sloshed, right? He's been doing all kinds of crazy stuff lately...

Anyway, I have a few simple questions about your new position. You must answer each to be considered.

Would you demand worship? Would you prefer people go to church and give lip service, or would you rather they enjoy life, and appreciate what was made?

Would you punish? Would you punish in an afterlife, or let a persons actions and natural consequence of those actions suffice? Is sin applicable?

Would you ever destroy the world? There's a lot of evil in the world, but would you destroy it, or would you let mankind work it out themselves?

Would you ever answer prayers? A lot of people pray and ask for things; would you answer or just let things work out on their own in their own time?

Would you enjoy the fragrance of good bud? There are a lot of people smoking these days, and many do it to help the connect spiritually. Would you shun this practice, or appreciate the fact that they're enjoying one of the finest herbs in existance, and using it to connect, for medicinal purposes, and for natural relaxation?

Would you Love all of humanity even w/o a belief in you or Jesus? This is the really BIG question. There are many who don't believe, so do you think it is fair for the unbelievers to live w/o your Love, or would you Love them just the same?


All applications will be viewed by the Big guy if I can get him to put the Tequila down for a few.


Love,

if I was GOD i would come to you and offer you to share
in my Kingdom, becaues I made you so that you can have life, and I would
give you my light so you could find your way through the darkness.....