If you were God?

[JunkYard]

I'm taking applications for the position of God over the next few months. The first one [God] created everything, but he's getting tired, and has found out about Tequila & lime juice, and well, he really likes the bottle nowdays. He's looking for a replacement as you can't very well govern too good when sloshed, right? He's been doing all kinds of crazy stuff lately...

Anyway, I have a few simple questions about your new position. You must answer each to be considered.

Would you demand worship? Would you prefer people go to church and give lip service, or would you rather they enjoy life, and appreciate what was made?

Would you punish? Would you punish in an afterlife, or let a persons actions and natural consequence of those actions suffice? Is sin applicable?

Would you ever destroy the world? There's a lot of evil in the world, but would you destroy it, or would you let mankind work it out themselves?

Would you ever answer prayers? A lot of people pray and ask for things; would you answer or just let things work out on their own in their own time?

Would you enjoy the fragrance of good bud? There are a lot of people smoking these days, and many do it to help the connect spiritually. Would you shun this practice, or appreciate the fact that they're enjoying one of the finest herbs in existance, and using it to connect, for medicinal purposes, and for natural relaxation?

Would you Love all of humanity even w/o a belief in you or Jesus? This is the really BIG question. There are many who don't believe, so do you think it is fair for the unbelievers to live w/o your Love, or would you Love them just the same?


All applications will be viewed by the Big guy if I can get him to put the Tequila down for a few.


Love,

JunkYard Reviewed by JunkYard on 11-27-2006. If you were God? I'm taking applications for the position of God over the next few months. The first one created everything, but he's getting tired, and has found out about Tequila & lime juice, and well, he really likes the bottle nowdays. He's looking for a replacement as you can't very well govern too good when sloshed, right? He's been doing all kinds of crazy stuff lately... Anyway, I have a few simple questions about your new position. You must answer each to be considered. Would you demand Rating: 5

[slipknotpsycho]

no, i'd be too busy smoking to worry if everyone is in fear of me.

depends on the situation at hand... i can't very well just let everything slide now can i? what kind of a god would i be if all i did was sit up there smoking?

why would i want to destroy the world.. there may be alot of evil, but there's probably even more good in it. can't have the good without the bad.

on serious prayers, yes.. on simple everday "i want <insert thing>" no... if you want it so bad, work for it. on a side note, i'd probably cure everyone of disease that asked for it... no reason to let everyone suffer.. i also wouldn't be granting people in jail/prison the freedom nearly all of them pray for.. if you weren't guilty, or it was something superficial such as getting busted with weed, i'll think about it...

of course i wouldn't have a problem with bud... why would i? any other non-naturally occuring drug tho, would be wiped from existance.

pretty much the same as the first question.

[Nochowderforyou]

1. NO, never.

2. It depends on a persons actions. If they make mistake in life, mistakes are part of human nature and I'd let it go, but if they make the same mistake over and over again, then there is some punishing to be done.

3. Nope. I'd get sheer pleasure watching humans destroy one another, followed by great sadness, as that is what I let them do to the one, and only earth.

4. Depends. If it's about meaningless BS, they'll get through it, but if it is an uncureable illness and one is suffering greatly from it (ex. not being able to afford medications, etc...) then I would help them before the ones complaining that the entire world is against them. Like if someone who never smoked a cigg. in their life got cancer, I'd help them, but if someone chose to smoke ciggs. all those years and get cancer, TS. May sound harsh, but whose fault is it that they have cancer...

5. I'd be the god passing around the bong in the afterlife. I'm all for it, enjoy it. I'd let it rain seeds every Spring fo the new growing season.

6. Hmmm, good question. If they were a good person without the belief of me, then I wouldn't care. A person can do whatever they want, as long as they are happy. If someone was unhappy, and they didn't believe, I would try and help in some godly way.

Neat thread, so when do I start?

[rainbow_jo]

If I were god, I think I'd carry on how s/he's been doing already.
Whatever you want, I'll want. I won't expect anything from anyone. But whatever you will is, so is mine.

[Inferius]

Timmy was an average boy, who noone understands.... Mom and Dad And vicky, always giving him demands....

[MastaChronic]

no, id be too sloshed to demand much of anything

sin is not applicable, whether they make it into heaven or hell would be based entirely on how big their thumb nail is.......

i might possibly kill off a few hundred million, if just to make some room and clear up that whole overcrowding issue

depends on what the prayer is and how i feel about it

id appreciate the fact, and any prayer asking for bud would be looked at in a more favourable light than other prayers but still may not be answered

no, i wouldnt love humanity even if they did believe in whatever it is i want them to believe in.

[ChronoSponge]

Would you demand worship? Yes. I would demand that people revere their God and show their faith. To not do so would symbolize lack of faith in my eyes, and thus incur my anger. The only people who will be saved in the afterlife are those who fully believe in me and obey my laws.

Would you punish? People who follow and obey my word shall not be punished. But if my word is broken, those who do not beg forgiveness will be punished because it is the just thing to do. The only fitting punishment for non-believers and law breakers is eternal pain and suffering.

Would you ever destroy the world? The world was created to be inhabited by God's creations. Without it, who would worship me unquestiongly?

Would you ever answer prayers? I would answer prayers in a way I saw fit. I would perform them in such a way that no one can tell by sight alone that it was my doing. I would leave it up to the persons beliefs to decide if their prayer was actually answered. And if they prayed again I probably wouldn't grant it.

Would you enjoy the fragrance of good bud? Naturally, even Jesus smoked the herb.

Would you Love all of humanity even w/o a belief in you or Jesus? Those who live without believing in God's son and without God's love choose to do so on their own. It is Jesus's word himself that said "But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin." Those who blasphem know their ways, and will not be forgiven.

[bongomania]

If I were God, Carlos Beltran would not have struck out looking in the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded and lose the pennant to the lousy cardinals this year. If I were God the New York Mets would win the World Series once every few years. And the hated yankees would never win!

[JunkYard]

If I were God I would never demand worship, but I would look on those who lived their lives to the fullest, and appreciated creation with the utmost respect and Love. I would pity the others for wasting their lives...

I would never punish in an afterlife, and would allow guilt and shame, and natural consequences to be full punishment for misled lives. Sin is an issue, but only self inflicted punishment would be fair, so contrary to an un-pardonable sin concept, there would be nothing that couldn't be resolved within ones self.

I would never destroy the world, but instead, I'd let mankind fend for themselves and force them to continue living on earth until they fix the BS they created. Although, I would send messengers of Love and peace to help influence a few individuals so they might take steps towards creating a better world.

I might answer a few prayers, but would never interfere with free will. I guess it depends on who, circumstance and kind of prayer...

I naturally Love the smell of burnt offerings of the herbal kind, so yes, good bud would be a treat.

I would Love every last human, and they wouldn't have to believe in anything at all. The murderers and rapist, and violent types would certainly be on my black list, but I'd Love them enough to hope they turned their lives around and happily welcome them into the fullness of my Joy when they did.



Edit: I talked to the big guy and he's liking much of what he's reading so far, but we still have several more apps to be taken before he makes his decision. Oh yeah, he was a little pissed about me talking about his now [non] drinking habits...He says he's just tired and needs a break from governing the universe for a bit. On that note, this position will now be Temporary but if the new God does things right, the big guy might consider following suit.


:smokin:

[Left]

why would you want to be god? It would be so lonely to have all of that knowledge and no one to share it with that is on your level and could understand you.