There is nothing wrong with wanting attention. If you get nothing then you will do anything to have someone just give a reaction to you so you know that you exist. If you feel like you don't exist then what's the point. Attention makes you feel alive, bad attention is something, but good attention like love and fun and some of these things that most of us take for granted are better.

I feel for you and it will make me think twice about feeling sorry for myself. Not that you should cos it achieves nothing. Just try to focus on some good stuff and work with that, then when you have some sort of bearing and control of your own life you can reflect on the bad shit with a little more clarity. Have you ever heard of de bono's hats. It sounds a little cheesy but they're these imaginary hats that you put on to help you think a little clearer when you are in situations that suck.

Hope this isn't presuming too much