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11-18-2006, 03:34 AM #26Senior Member
why does this system do this to people like me
I'm real sorry things turned out this way, NightProwler. Next time, I'm sure you'll do things differently, and I know you well enough to know you learned some valuable lessons from this experience.
One tip about your mom, and this was one I learned when dealing with my own mom, actually, who had a bit of a theatrical streak when we made mistakes. If you can pre-empt her coming to you, that is, go meet her at the door when she comes in and start talking before she even gets a chance to light into you, you may be ahead of the game. Don't hide and wait for the axe to fall. Face it head-on. Just say, "Mom, you probably already know about this and I know I'll face some consequences, but here's what happened." Then just give her the low-down. The thing is if you deal with it up front like an adult, she'll be more likely to respond to you that way, too. You can also pre-empt her tendency to punish when she's in a temper and say, "I know you're really angry about this and I request that you not take any action until you calm down and have had a chance to think about this for a bit." That'll help her remember to step back and take a few breaths--and ideally take a night to sleep on it--before she metes out any punishment.
I was always in a lot better shape if my dad found about the dumb stuff I did before my mom because he was much calmer and more level-headed. She tended to ground me and withdraw every privilege she could think of when she was angry and then have to back-track later when my dad helped her realize she'd overdone it.
Let us know how it turns out, OK?[SIZE=\"4\"]\"That best portion of a good man\'s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.\"[/SIZE]
[align=center]William Wordsworth, English poet (1770 - 1850)[/align]
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