The biggest mistake I make (well, one of them ), is that I do my weekly shopping whilst stoned.

By the time I get to the check-out and look into my cart, I'm dismayed to see very little in the way of actual proper food.

"bag of mixed veg...cheese...milk...tea bags....ham....loaf of bread....mars bars....snickers...Ritz buscuits....penguins....wagon wheels.....blue ribband wafers (36bars )....24pack of crisps....Frosties cereal....kit kats....pringles....iced gems....etc etc"

It's a nighmare going through the till, trying to keep a straight face - becuase I know what the cashier is thinking lol

"...he didn't get any potatoes!!..."