just a question...

[tootsie roll]

Not only is it healthy and good to cry, it's necessary. Oh, Slipknot, my friend, I'm so sorry that happened. You've spent this time being strong for your family and trying to suck that emotion in, but it's the folks who don't let that built-up emotional energy out who are in danger of going nuts. Or going postal. And even then, sometimes, in horrific situations like these, the emotions threaten to overwhelm you.

There are people in this world who are uncomfortable with emotions and don't like any men to show vulnerable feelings. But that's really a statement about the people who judge them and not about the ones who're expressing emotions. Nothing is sexier or more touching to me than a man who can feel and express his feelings. Truly. I couldn't be married to a guy who could not, and I think most self-actualized, sane people feel the same way.

Have you ever given any thought to a few check-in sessions with a good therapist to sort of release some of what's boiling up inside you and get some constructive feedback? Some of what you're going through right now sounds eerily like post-traumatic stress syndrome, Slipknot, which can really eat away at your balance and interrupt your functioning when the previously suppressed emotions start to surface. At difficult times in my life, work with a good counselor has made a lot of difference for me. As I told you in another thread, it helped me when I used to work for the fire department and see traumatic awful things on a frequent basis. It helped me and my husband during a rough spot in our marriage some years ago. And I'm considering a few visits again right now, in fact, after what we've all been through with my sister's illness and death. I think it'll just help the holidays feel less overwhelmingly sad, too.

Give it some thought in case that might feel right to you, too. If you have ever kept a journal of some kind, that's very therapeutic, too. Anything that'll help you get the feelings up and out is healthy. From crying to therapy. And never let anyone else tell you differently. Much love to you, my friend.

As usual, words of wisdom;well-spoken. :thumbsup: The Holidays. Awful and scary at times. Best to be kept as busy as possible. Hope you have been well. Small set back here but pushing on.:abduct: :abduct: :jointsmile:

tootsie roll Reviewed by tootsie roll on 11-16-2006. just a question... is it wrong for a grown man to cry... does that make them weak, or a 'pussy?' Rating: 5

[birdgirl73]

Thanks, Toots. I'm alright. Have had a couple of bad, teary days, though, and I'd cry extra hard thinking about Slipknot going through worse than I am. Think I'm on the upswing again, though. (Caught a cold at school, which makes everything worse.)

[S.P.Q.R.]

I think crying does make a person weak. Embrace your "pain" and get stronger from it, don't break down like a little girl.

Just my two cents..

[tootsie roll]

thanks for all the words guys... and as for a therapist, i was never really much for it, it's not like we have the money either way tho... the only thing i know to do to let out emotion is write poetry, but i haven't much felt like writing lately, kind of like writer's block i guess, the words just dont' want to come...

I could tell you years of stories, but in the end, all a therapist really does is listen, act like a friend and sometimes drug you. and then YOU pay them for that honor and at years end, you've paid for their new car and dining room set.
The internet has somewhat changed that as people who therapy just won't help, find help thru others on the net.

[smoke it]

when heavy personal shit goes down, crying is an option

[Wesley Pipes]

i don't care what anyone says, it's never wrong to cry, it doesn't make you a pussy, actually i believe it makes you more of a man cuz your not AFRAID to show your feelings.

[tootsie roll]

Thanks, Toots. I'm alright. Have had a couple of bad, teary days, though, and I'd cry extra hard thinking about Slipknot going through worse than I am. Think I'm on the upswing again, though. (Caught a cold at school, which makes everything worse.)

Teary days are more then understandable.
Sorry about the cold. School and germs go hand in hand. Time for some chicken soup. Or Zicam (?) Is that what it's called? Those q-tip things. They look kinda scary. I went ahead and had the flu shot this year so I'm hoping to bypass that.

Slipknot, my heart goes out to you hon.
And anybody who thinks men shouldn't cry, they don't have a clue about life.

[Cooler Then Jesus]

it was a trip when i first saw a gangsta cry, didnt know, didnt ask, didnt wonder why.

i happen to be listening to that song

[BabySnookums]

it's so distressing sometimes....to know the one you love is going thru so much emotional pain...and there's nothing you can do to make it better. i'm too mom-ish i guess...i just wish i could hold him and make his pain disappear. just to look in his eyes, that're normally so sparkly and happy, and see more pain than you could imagine...it makes my heart break. he helped me thru my dads death...and then months later his bro was taken from us...i felt helpless watching him struggle to cope...

[Abattoir Dream]

man, i dont know about you and your situation, but i would have gone lookin for whoever it was straight away, obv. 2 yrs down the line its too late to do that but, if someone did that to my brother, i wouldnt stop till i either got them back, or had the same done to me, i would find where he lives, and burn it to the ground....