Quote Originally Posted by TokinAsianGuy
Yeah after i trashed everything, i sat on my bed, which is soaked in bong water now, and thought "....fuck... what a mess... dammit i want to watch a dvd now...*regret*".

I've got a few personal issues that i've been trying to work through and today after having an argument with my sister who dropped by, i just went ape shit. and this might make me sound like a complete pussy, but after a cigarette, i called my sister to apologise for yelling at her and then i had a bit of a cry. I haven't cried in years. it's all cool now though. i'm just chillin to some tunes and having a few cones.
nah, that doesn't make you a pussy, that just means you care about your relationship with your sis, feel bad about going off on her, and the crying bit, well leads to me to believe you have alot of built up emotion you dont' quite know how to deal with...

at about 18, i became really violent and destructive, soon after that i started writing poetry to get my feelings out (i had always wrote poetry from one time to another, but this was diffrent, i started meaning the words i wrote, and every word was tied to an event, or emotion.) found it was a great outlet for me and my problems...

i still lose it from time to time, freak the fuck out and either punch things or throw things around, but for the most part think i'm making great progress controlling everything... all i can for sure tell you, is that those anger problems aren't just going to disappear, you have to want to change it, and work at it... and if you do start working at it, and lose it from time to time, that's not failure, that's only being human....

if only i got paid 5.15 an hour to clean up the messes i've made in my rage.... or even better, get paid 5.15 an hour for the entire time i sit there thinking what a fucking idiot i am destorying my shit, just because i lost my temper...