The worst day of your life

[cannabis campbell]

just wondering so far, what you lived of your life what do you consider to be the worst day of it?

cannabis campbell Reviewed by cannabis campbell on 11-13-2006. The worst day of your life just wondering so far, what you lived of your life what do you consider to be the worst day of it? :) Rating: 5

[birdgirl73]

My worst day came just recently. My sister died on Thursday, November 2, and the following two days, Friday and Saturday, tied for worst day. Friday, I think, was the very worst. That was the day we had to go to the funeral home and handle arrangements and see her for the first time and have the visitation. The entire day was like a long nightmare.

[cannabis campbell]

im so sorry birdgirl life can be hard

[slipknotpsycho]

hm... i could have a shitload of stories to give you, as many of my days rival other 'worst days' however, the one that sticks in my head the most is when i kicked who is now my wife out, after an 11 month relationship, that one day has taught me that i need to stop making decisions when i'm pissed... i'm sure i can't really say it's the worst day of my life, but after i had calmed down and realized she was leaving and there was nothing i could do about it (her parents were already engaged in a 9 hour-ish car drive, and they weren't going to leave without her).... to this day when i have the nightmares i usually have, of her leaving me, i feel that pain and anguish all over...

to this day i still beat myself up about that decision, because even tho now we're happily married (well atleast, as happily as anyone can be married ) that day still haunts me, almost nightly.... and i'm sure only someone's whose been through exactly what i've gone through, could understand the pain i am talking about... and how haunting it can be...

so in short, i would have to say that day would have to be atleast a candidate for my worst day ever...

[Cooler Then Jesus]

in the ER
high on extacy
i was totally rollin balls and i played it off sober and got away.

[slipknotpsycho]

My worst day came just recently. My sister died on Thursday, November 2, and the following two days, Friday and Saturday, tied for worst day. Friday, I think, was the very worst. That was the day we had to go to the funeral home and handle arrangements and see her for the first time and have the visitation. The entire day was like a long nightmare.

yeah i know that feeling... my 17 year old brother was murdered, (yes that's another candidate) i am still in the nightmare, what makes it worse, is knowing this nightmare is never going to go away, the pain my subside, but those thoughts, (why, could i have saved them, what could i have done, what did i do wrong, ect ect.) are still there... i'm sorry i never posted in the thread about it birdgirl, but i really didnt' know what to say, except that i know your pain, very well infact, and that you're not alone on this subject...

just curious, but do you try to block it out... do you get really emotional at just the thought of reliving it? i try to block it out, as best as i can.. i refuse (for the most part) to accept he's gone, and still somewhat think of him still being here, i never mention him in the past tense, unless it's nessicary for the conversation at hand (for instance, remembering something he used to do, not nessicarily before he was dead, just things he used to do when he was younger)

[Inferius]

The day I realized how truly alone I am. Just thinking about that expirience...

The day my best friend, my pet rabbit, was accidentally pushed off my bed and MURDERED by his owner. When I woke up, right after that. When I realized..
I can't even type this stuff i start getting blurry eyed.

And the day my father watched while every last bit of freedom was ripped away from me. The day I was put in an insane asylum.

those are about it.

[birdgirl73]

Thanks, Cannabis, and Slipknot, for the kind words.

You know, Slipknot, I'm not trying to block out the grief itself or those emotions. I'm letting myself feel them and crying when I need to and doing my best to feel and acknowledge those emotions, and I did that while she was sick, too, because if I hadn't the feelings would have overwhelmed me, I think. But on most days right now, especially weekdays when I'm trying to focus in school and get back to my normal life, I do have to block out some of the images. I can't let the image of her in the last two days of her life, if you could call that period "life," come to the surface without dissolving into tears. And I can't think back right now on the image of her in the coffin at the funeral home. Or of the faces of my dad and my son, for instance, at the funeral. But I do let the sadness itself surface, and I think that's because it wasn't a traumatic loss in the same way your brother's was. I mean, sure it was traumatic to have her get desperately sick and die. But the death itself wasn't a surprise. I think that block-out response is completely normal and expected when it's a horrific, surprising death like your little brother's was.

When I used to work as a paramedic and saw the worst things in the world, which usually occurred as a result of drunk driving accidents, I had to block those sights and memories out in order to function. I also had to have some therapeutic help to deal with some of the worst of them. Most self-actualized fire-rescue people now routinely get that help if they work for a good department.

[slipknotpsycho]

sometimes i wonder if it would have been easier on everyone but him, if it was a slow, expected death... but then i think about the pain i would feel sitting there staring at my beloved family, whithering away to nothing, with absolutely nothing to do, not even if you had the most money in the world... i think that would make it like, watching the same person die twice, make it twice as hard... i must commend you, you do seem to be a very strong person, and holding up well.... after my brother died, i didn't want to do anything, for atleast awhile, i had no desire for anything, it was just waking up, doing what it takes to stay alive (eating, drinking [i dont' mean alcohol, drinking as in staying hydrated] and the essientals)

well i hope you can stay strong, since i don't really ever show emotion (sometimes i think of myself as a mannequin, i rarely let my true feelings come out) i guess that made me the unannonymous (sp?) 'strenght' of 'the family' my mom blames herself, and it's hard trying to convince a mother that it's not her fault, death is really never anyones fault, unless there's a person that took another person's life... but it seems, anyone close to the deceased can always find a way it's their fault, either they didn't do enough, or they did too much...

i tell you, it's really hard to be the strength sometimes... especially when deep inside you're really cracking, and just wanting to give in..

[lagstronaut]

well may 15th 2003 i was supposed to finish watching the hockey game downstairs then go play hockey at the school next to us with my dad to let off some steam because he was fighting with my mom alot. Well i get upstairs and there's cops there telling my dad he should leave for some reason, apparently he told my mom he was going to kill her with his hockey stick and she said he needed mental help because he was talking to a handheld radio and using it as a phone. Both bullshit, the radio was dying and so he was singing with it up to his ear, the song was Disarm by the Smashing Pumpkins and the lyric he was singing was "the killer in me is the killer in you."

My mom completely fucks up her judgement on this because she yelled at him to stop listening to the Smashing Pumpkins a long time before that, so obviously she's familiar with that line [I know for a fact she is]. Also, he would never threaten anybody because overall he hates violence.

So anyway the cops say they are leaving and don't want to be called back. My dad then leaves to go for a drive, and so my mom gets my neighbour [they are best friends, I hate her] to call the cops on my dad saying he is making a run for it. I do not know why they came back because how can he be "making a run for it" when he's technically not in trouble to begin with. So anyway my mom tells these new cops that now he JUST threatened her again a drove off, and there's a province-wide alert going out for his arrest.

Meanwhile he is driving around the lake side, minding his own business, when cops pull him over, throw him out of the car, beat him up, and leave him in a cell for over 3 days, with him only being told why he was arrested on the 2nd day.

A year passes without me seeing him, and my mom telling me all these things like he is crazy now and blah blah blah. Turns out she is lying of course and makes up some bullshit reason to the court why he needs to have a restraining order against his entire family.

I finally meet him after about a year, he is now living on the other side of town and still has his same jobs and never even missed a day of work aside from calling in sick the day he got out of the jail cell.

Now, this part just was finalized last week: he now has to pay my mom $2000 a month when he only makes $3200 a month. Mathematically he cannot even afford to pay his own bills AND do groceries every month. He has to pay her so much because he was nice enough to let my mom stop working for a year and so the court based my mom's worth on the last year of her life to see how much child support he should pay, and since he was such a nice guy and let her stay at home, he now has to pay $2000 a month instead of $400. Also, my mom lied alot in court saying my sister lives with us but doesn't work, even though she does [an extra $200 a month for my mom for saying that], and the judge wouldn't give her a drug test even though she smokes more than my entire family. If she had been given that drug test and failed, she would get nothing for some reason. The one time a fucked up drug law would actually provide justice, and the lady judge sympathizes with my full-of-shit mom too much to grant the request of a drug test.

So now I see my dad once a week if I am lucky [he works alot and I don't live with him], I now see my mom as a self-centered bitch which everyone thought she was but is now confirmed, and my life is seriously changed completely...

why you ask?

because my dad wanted to play hockey with me and while he waited, he sung along to his favourite song on the radio.




i doubt 10% of the people that see this post will read it because it's so long and probably doesn't make much sense...but yeah..may 15th wasn't the best of days


ps. a week before this incident, my mom asked for a divorce because my dad refused to buy her pot anymore...something i think about when i toke sometimes