The worst day of your life

[justinsane]

lets enjoy a bowl and lay down some of our best days eh?

[Inferius]

Lagostronaut, your story reminds me SO MUCH of my own parents divorce.
Yours was worse though, becuase I managed to get away from the twisted, evil thing that used to be my mother. I live with my father now.
The worst part of it for me... was that I did testify. I testified lies. Lies fed to me by that evil bitch.
Nothing to do now but forget.

[Inferius]

lets enjoy a bowl and lay down some of our best days eh?

Theres another thread for that.

[lagstronaut]

Lagostronaut, your story reminds me SO MUCH of my own parents divorce.
Yours was worse though, becuase I managed to get away from the twisted, evil thing that used to be my mother. I live with my father now.
The worst part of it for me... was that I did testify. I testified lies. Lies fed to me by that evil bitch.
Nothing to do now but forget.

the only thing i take comfort in during this is knowing the truth, and learning how to be a proper parent. if there's ever a way to make sure you turn out to be a good mom or dad, why does it have to be because you know exactly what NOT to do? at least my kids will have a better childhood because of what i've gone through, and i hope you can say the same thing too

[Inferius]

the only thing i take comfort in during this is knowing the truth, and learning how to be a proper parent. if there's ever a way to make sure you turn out to be a good mom or dad, why does it have to be because you know exactly what NOT to do? at least my kids will have a better childhood because of what i've gone through, and i hope you can say the same thing too

I've found that to be a common response from people who've had bad parents.
I get kind of scared when I think about this, becuase my mother herself had an abusive childhood, and that train of thought caused a lot of the bad parenting due to her neurotic behavior of trying to force the opposite of what she expirienced. I honestly have no idea how to be a parent, and I don't think I should ever bring children into this world. I'd like to be an uncle who's not really an uncle though. That would make me happy.

[lagstronaut]

I've found that to be a common response from people who've had bad parents.
I get kind of scared when I think about this, becuase my mother herself had an abusive childhood, and that train of thought caused a lot of the bad parenting due to her neurotic behavior of trying to force the opposite of what she expirienced. I honestly have no idea how to be a parent, and I don't think I should ever bring children into this world. I'd like to be an uncle who's not really an uncle though. That would make me happy.

don't think that you shouldn't man. i don't wanna tell you how to think but, in my opinion you should only choose to not have a kid because it's just not for you, not because you're afraid of how you'll turn out as a parent. Everybody is. but everybody has the power in them to be a good parent, its just people like me and you know the consequences of not using that power for your children's benefit

[slipknotpsycho]

Well, until this recent event, I didn't have much to complain about, either, Crudemood, and just because you haven't had people close to you die doesn't mean you're not allowed to regard events in your own life as having been comparably bad. "Worst" is a subjective, comparative thing. Before losing my sister, about the worst I had to complain about was when I was real sick from a ruptured appendix, and I wasn't fully informed about how bad that really was, apparently, and so didn't even realize it till I got sprung from the ICU and eventually got well how bad it had been.

The more I think about it, Slipknot, the more I think there really is no good way to die. A slow death from disease is awful. And a sudden, violent death is awful, too, and, in my book, much worse. Ideally, I hope when my time comes, I'll be 118, in good health, in good mind, and will just pop off in my sleep from a stroke or something else fast and final. I know in time I'll get to feeling better about losing my sister. It's all just too fresh right now. But it helps that I've got a husband and son who need me--and parents and a younger sister, too, for that matter. Somehow it's easier to go on when others are depending on you. Don't you agree, Slipknot?

yes i compeltely agree, when everyone is depending soley on you, you have no choice but to go on, maybe it's just us two, but giving in is not an option, i don't want to say us or we too much, becuase everyone acts diffrently, but atleast i, have no option in the matter... i have another brother, not much younger than the one murdered, i must stay strong for him, i feel i have to lay down the guidelines, so he doesn't follow the same path as the first.... it's hard, but sometimes, people get indirectly designated as the 'shit taker' (that probably sounds worse than it is? i coudlnt' think of a better word(s), i meant the ones who take in all the pain, of the entire family, who act like nothing is wrong, who act liek they are strong, and have no choice but to hold up, cuz they know they are the strongest of the ones deeply effected..) and they have no real choice but to hold up, for fear the enitre family will fall apart...

it is alot easier when everyone's depnding on you to stay strong, and help everyone through it. say the words that everyone needs to hear, and want to hear, but that doesn't mean it doesn't take it's toll, not in the least. if you're in the same boat as me birdgirl, you know what i mean. i'm far from a position to say who in your family is they 'shit taker', but from your words i can only imagine it's you... i only hope you make yourself as strong as my exterior shell makes itsself, it's a hard task to undertake, and only the strongest will make it... i only hope that it's really a test of character, and not just some game that someone else is enjoying (i won't say names as i don't want to stir up some religious debate, atleast not here.)

[BabySnookums]

my worst day was when my dad passed away...

when i was younger he was passing blood in his urine. he went to the ER and, with us being poor, they did NO tests, and told my parents they were cheating on each other and he had an STD, or he wasn't keeping clean enough. my parents had to haul water for us to live on, and we lived in a travel trailer. they always made sure i had what i needed, and my dad often went without so we had stuff. but anyways...flash forward a few years...he tried to get disability, but they denied him, citing that since he could drive my mom to the store each month he was perfectly healthy.

then in 2003 he got really really miserably sick. his stomach was hurting him horribly, and he was still passing blood. we went to an ER in another place (we had moved) and they did a blood test or something and the doctor walks in and kinda nonchalontly says "you've got cancer" when my dad said "well doc?"

my dad burst into tears, holding my mom and saying "20 years isn't enough". i tried not to cry in front of them, cuz seeing me losing it would've made it worse for the both of them.

my dad ended up having his bladder removed (fist sized tumor) and the remnants of his right kidney removed (that's what the "blood" he'd been passing was...pieces of his kidney...fuckin STD my ass >< ) and was given an ostomy bag. he took chemo, and was on pain meds, which werent even taking the edge off.

every night i'd hear him crying in pain, begging god to just take him away. he'd cry saying he wanted to go home (home was in Texas, and we were living in Arkansas) but he couldn't even survive a trip even if we could've moved.

he was in and out of the hospital, and finally came home. i was supposed to wake up early one morning to have breakfast with them before his next thing of chemo, but the night before i'd spent at a "friends" house (something i never should've done, as well) and by the time i came crawling home in the wee hours of the morning, i was too sleepy to get up. i remember sort of opening my eyes when they went out the front door, and i dont even think i said bye.

i got home from work that afternoon only to find out when he'd went for his chemo, they found that it'd worsened or spread or something. he had to immediately be admitted. i saw him a few times after that. i went and visited a bit, and then me and my now-husband decided to get married, and i moved back to texas, while my dad was still in the hospital.

our ex-landlord went to visit my dad and took me and my husband with him, and we stayed the night in my dads room with him. my mom begged me to stay for a week or so, but i was scared of seeing my dad like this, and i declined. the next day my dad came home, and they had a hospital bed at home for him to stay in. i went home (Texas) and the next week, i get woke up by a knock on our door. it was the phone...for me...and it was an emergency....

my mom was crying...dad died 3 hours ago, she said...but she waited 3 hours so she wouldn't wake me up too very early. i got the info bout the funeral and all that and we said our goodbyes. i was hysterical and panicing. finally i called my half-sister...i was like omfg...i have to call her and tell her our dads dead. i cant do this! (my dad had 2 ex wives and 2 other daughters...he'd been in the process of rekindling a relationship with his oldest when he passed, so his dream of being in a room w/all 3 off us never happened) i told her and then cried all day long...only stopping to get FUBAR'd on Triple C's (DONT TAKE THEM THEY'RE NOT SAFE!)

went to the funeral, got FUBAR'd again upon coming home. i stayed kinda catatonic for a month...then found out i was pregnant...decided to honor my dad by naming the lil boy after him...the day we found out it was a boy, was the day that my husbands little brother was murdered...so we named our son after both.

sad but sweet thing is...my dad was already becoming cold...death was setting in...and he threw up on himself...my mom cleaned him...she leaned close to him, he said "i love you" and died....

his dying thoughts were of her and his love for her. i think that is the sweetest thing ever.

the time from his diagnosis to death was 8 months...

it isnt' easier on anyone, whether its drawn out like his was, or quick like my husbands brother....but at least us losing someone over a period of time are able to "prepare" (as much as one can) for losing them. people who are killed, its too sudden. but either way...it takes awhile to sink in...both me and my husband said after losing our loved ones "it doesn't feel real"

sorry for writing a novel...i just needed to get this out...i've been having memories rushing back to the surface...felt it time to let them escape

[Cassiopiea]

When my grandad died the funeral home left the casket open even though he had not been prepared for an open casket and we had said that we didnt want an open casket. Seing the corpse of my Grandfather who was always so strong and defiant layed out like that, I just dont want to describe it. Then after that being next to a coffin that I knew my grandfather was in was just unbearable, I mean a situation that I just completely culdnt handle, ive never cried so much or so desperately in my life.

Sorry if im not making much sense its just that it was incredibly emotional.

I feel so much for someone who has lost a close member of their family, the grief is undescribable.

[mushypeas]

My worst day came just recently. My sister died on Thursday, November 2, and the following two days, Friday and Saturday, tied for worst day. Friday, I think, was the very worst. That was the day we had to go to the funeral home and handle arrangements and see her for the first time and have the visitation. The entire day was like a long nightmare.

wow sorri to hear that i nearly lost my sister i feel for ya.....