Ok, things aren't just going good in my life. Everything just seems like it's closing in and I really feel like I could just die any second. I've been smokin marijuana for the past 2 months or so everyday. I am now starting to feel like I'm losing my mind. My brain is operating in another way that I have never felt before. I almost feel perminantely fried. Just dumb and lost. The more I review in my mind the life that I am living now the more I can see my self fitting right in with the characters of Requiem for a Dream. I mean, it almost seems pointless to live anymore. Now I have realized where my mind was when I began this and now I see where it is now. I can't feel like this any longer.

My mom and dad told me all the time that my family is all I have, and it's true now, I finally see what they are saying. As much as I felt bad about everyone in my family in the past for the first time I really miss them and I don't want to lose them. My grandmother hasn't been doing well lately and I can only hope she gets better. If the worst happens I don't know what will take place. It just feels like everyone I know is slowly fading away and I really don't know what to do. I'm actually crying over here.

I plan on selling all the weed I have and I really want to just take the little bit of money I have and catching a bus and going some where to just release. I have finally come to the conclusion that a very bad period in your life and marijuana just does not mix. I hope you all can forgive me, I will still be hanging around here and keeping in touch but I have to stay out of touch with marijuana for as long as I have to until I can really CLEARLY and not just convincing my self that I am sane.
orangeman Reviewed by orangeman on . Taking a break for as long as needed... Ok, things aren't just going good in my life. Everything just seems like it's closing in and I really feel like I could just die any second. I've been smokin marijuana for the past 2 months or so everyday. I am now starting to feel like I'm losing my mind. My brain is operating in another way that I have never felt before. I almost feel perminantely fried. Just dumb and lost. The more I review in my mind the life that I am living now the more I can see my self fitting right in with the Rating: 5