My own son would rather live on welfare than live with me...

[Cheery Cherry]

How does your son feel about his mother? How do YOU get along with his mother? Have you ever asked your son why he doesn't want to live with you? Have you told him how this makes you feel? Either way, always stay in touch with him whether it's by phone, e-mails, letters or in person. I grew up without a dad and it sucks!

Good luck to you.

[Greenport]

no wonder, you are the guy who said the forum should be closed to anyone under 21..... you're not exactly child friendly

he asks for help and you come and flame him? get out of here please and dont come back. Have a nice day. I have no harsh feelings for you, but what u just said is messed up. He really needs help and thats all u can say? comeon man... you can do a little better

[CityBoyGoneCountry]

no wonder, you are the guy who said the forum should be closed to anyone under 21..... you're not exactly child friendly

I'm going to assume you are under the age of 21, and that you haven't lived enough yet to really know how life works.

"Child friendly" is when you do what you know is best for your kids. You don't expect your kids to always understand your decisions, sometimes they may even resent your decisions, but you make them anyways, because you know that later in their life the things you did for them will make a difference, and eventually they will grow to understand it, and they will appreciate it.

I'm sorry I have to set limits for kids, but kids need limits, or else they will fuck up their lives. When my son is old enough, mature enough, and responsible enough, I won't have any problem with him smoking pot. I'll even let him smoke some of mine. But right now he is only 13 years old, and he behaves like a 13 year old. There's no fuckin way I'm going to get him high.

[slipknotpsycho]

told you <.<....

[xcrispi]

damn straight ,
his post has nothing to do w/ cannabis ? it's about venting and his feelings for his child . wheres this shit comin from ldn ? whats bein 21 got to do w/ anything ? more pwr to you man , i have many friends that shun their responsabilities to their children or have washed their hands of them all together , heres a stand up guy willing to do his part n you flame him "

[Fengzi]

Pick one.

Spent most of my life in the Bay Area. I lived in San Lorenzo, San Leandro, Oakland, Hayward, Union City, Fremont, Castro Valley. Most recently Modesto. My son is in LaGrange, wherever the fuck that is. I've never been there. But he's with his mother, and his mother is all ghetto.

Hey there cityboy, is he in LaGrange California? If so that is probably more "country" than were you are. It's between hwy 120 and 140, on the way up to Yosemite, in the Sierra foothills, pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I know because I just drove by the other day.

Anyhow, I wouldn't take it too personally. There could be a lot going on in his life that's causing him to make his decision. Maybe he's got a girlfriend, other friends, etc that he doesn't want to leave. I moved around a lot as a kid and I know it's hard to just pack up and leave. I didn't really have a choice because I was with both of my parents but I know that if I wasn't there would have definitely been times when I would have chosen to remain with whoever stayed put.

Whatever the reason, don't let his decision come between you and him. It doesn't sound like the two of you have a bad relationship, at least not yet. Just let him know you respect his decision and it will just improve your relationship later in his life.

[partyguy420]

ummm... that sucks that your son dosent want to live with you, and the ex is making you pay child saport or what ever it is that you call it.... i grew up with a EVERY OTHER weekend dad... some times it was fun, we always got along... and then i moved in with him, and it went fine for a few months, and he liked my GF, and he was alowing her to come over, and then one day, i asked if she could come down and vist with me, since i only had to go to one class a day, and he just started saying no... everytime i asked... even during summer break, i asked if she could come down. and he just kept saying no, so i started to get tired of him saying... so we ended up getting in fights everyother day, he ended up telling me not to come back to his house, and had me thrown in juevy, and he called me once while i was in juevey, just to acuse me of stealing a gun from him, that he ended up finding about the next day, and he didnt even call me, and say he was sorry....we havent talked at all in 2 months

[Fengzi]

I'm going to assume you are under the age of 21, and that you haven't lived enough yet to really know how life works.

"Child friendly" is when you do what you know is best for your kids. You don't expect your kids to always understand your decisions, sometimes they may even resent your decisions, but you make them anyways, because you know that later in their life the things you did for them will make a difference, and eventually they will grow to understand it, and they will appreciate it.

.

As a parent I agree with you 100%. The minute my daughter was born, all those things my parents did and said, that I hated when I was young, suddenly made sense. When you're young you think you know everything, as you get older you realize that you knew nothing back then and still don't. I've come to realize that wisdom has less to do how much you know and more to do with the realization that there's so much more to learn.

[CityBoyGoneCountry]

I was 15 years old when I got involved with drugs. Yes, marijuana is a drug. It's not crack or heroin, but it is still a drug. The only way I could get it was by involving myself with people who were on a fast track to failure in life, i.e. thugs, thieves, dropouts, and losers in general. I went to juvenile hall 3 months before my 16th birthday, and I got out 1 month after my 18th birthday. I've done terrible things to people who didn't deserve it, and I've had terrible things done to me.

I've been homeless before. I've been hungry before. I've been lonely, I've been hurt, and I've been afraid.

It took me a long time to get my shit together and become a man that I am proud to be. A long, painful time. I should have listened to my parents, rather than thinking I knew better than them. If I had, it would have saved me from an awful lot of unnecessary hardships in life.

I want you to do something. Get yourself a notebook and make a list of everything that's important to you right now at this very moment. Put it away somewhere and don't look at it again for the next several years. On your 30th birthday, I want you to open that notebook and read it.

You will be amazed at how stupid it all sounds to you then.

[NextLineIsMine]

Have him over for a week at some point and it will probably change his mind real quick. La Grange is a shitty ass ugly dustbowl in the valley, living on wellfare in such a crappy place cannot be fun and I doubt his mom is anything to model after. A short stay could change his mind quick and he'd be much more willing to do that than just move.