"I would like to a strain that talks back to you when your in the room chatting away to them.."

ROFL Ecky!!!!

Okay, another one:
-can survive in very poor soil in a wide range of temperatures and annual rainfall zones
-will uproot itself and go looking for water when it's thirsty, then go back where it was planted
-resists being eaten by deer

It would be cannabis crossed with a cockroach and a prickly pear cactus