Confused.

[t3hl0st]

Hi everyone

This is kinda hard for me to write so please excuse any mistakes I make, Im dealing with some sensative issues.

3 days ago my dad passed away. He had a sudden heart attack and was only 48. I myself am 16. Now I know your asking what does this have to do with sexuality, but bere with me. When my dad died, and up till now I feel nothing. Absolutly nothing. Someone told me that im just in shock, and i believe thats it. Anyway these last few days Ive been thinking. Im not a very religiouse person but 1 thing i believe in is that everything happens for a reason. And I believe one of the reasons for my dad's death is so I could be reuinited with a long lost friend of mine. Me and her were friends from when we were born throught my early childhood years untill she moved away. I missed her soo much and havnt seen her since I was 8 when she moved an hour away. Now she came to my dads wake. When she walked throught the doors I knew who she was right away, and I know this may sound cheesy but it gave me a "love at first site" kind of feeling. Well through these last few days shes been there for me and my feelings keep on growing.But this isnt as simple as alittle crush. This leads me to problem number 1.

WHAT THE FUCK kind of a person am i to be focusing on my love life when my dad just died? I feel absolutly dreadfull for doing/thinking these things. But I cant stop. Its just sooo self centered and I know it but I cant get her outa my mind.

Im bringing this to you guys cause Im gonna need alot of advice this coming week. I have to go back to school, await her return this weekend and perhaps deal with the delayed sorrow of my father's passing.

These past days she was flirting with me, but I can not be sure if these are just acts of pity or if there is some relationship foundation here. Im just soo lost in all these emotions but for some reason my feelings for her stand above all. And if I do proceed to take my chances witht his girl, are there special ways I should handle it? Shes very special to me, but I dont know if I could ever look at her as my old friend anymore without yerning for something more.

thanks all for reading

P.S.
I just reread this and it sounded horrible in my mind. I just rly need to let this shit out. Sry if I wasted any1s time.

t3hl0st Reviewed by t3hl0st on 11-05-2006. Confused. Hi everyone This is kinda hard for me to write so please excuse any mistakes I make, Im dealing with some sensative issues. 3 days ago my dad passed away. He had a sudden heart attack and was only 48. I myself am 16. Now I know your asking what does this have to do with sexuality, but bere with me. When my dad died, and up till now I feel nothing. Absolutly nothing. Someone told me that im just in shock, and i believe thats it. Anyway these last few days Ive been thinking. Im not a very Rating: 5

[budsmoker only]

you didnt waste my time.. im really sorry to hear about your father.. i have never had to deal with that so i dont know how it is, but i can kinda imagine.. but for the girl i think you might wanna wait a lil bit seeing as how you just lost a loved one, and see where it goes between you to..

[mick mcmick]

there's no way any other human being could possibly tell you what you are feeling is wrong or right. life happens, not always in the way you would think it would. if you feel this strongly about this person, perhaps you should think of it as the silver lining in an otherwise very dark time in your life. the beauty that comes from the pain as it were. perhaps your dad, if he can, is looking down on you now and happy that you were reunited with her in this way.

guilt is a very common emotional response to such a tremendous loss. just know that this is normal. there will plenty of days where you mourn the loss of your dad and feel what must be felt.

hope you can find a little peace.

[birdgirl73]

Hey, t3hl0st. Mick's right. Feelings aren't wrong or right. They're just feelings, and you're entitled to feel whatever you want, whenever you want. Sounds like you're probably dealing with your grief in the best way you're able to right now, and I think it's perfectly alright that you find yourself interested in/thinking about your old friend. That sounds like a hopeful outlook for the future to me. Try to stop beating yourself up with all the "I shoulds."

My condolences on your loss, hun. My older sister died early this past Thursday morning (two days ago) from cancer. The death wasn't unexpected, but these last few weeks have been awful and her loss still pains me. The services were today, and tonight I'm just numb. Can't really feel anything except sorta blank right now. I think it's just my way of dealing with emotional overload. Sounds like you're dealing with things in your own way, too. My heart goes out to you and your family right now. Take care.

[t3hl0st]

thx all for the responces

and birdgirl, reallly sorry to hear about your sister. Too many people die from cancer nowadays.

You guys are really insitefull towards emotions, and believe me its helpen me alot.

I just cant help wonder if this girl is just consoleing me or actually flirting, Is there anyway to tell?

Once agn thanx

[thcbongman]

Trust your feelings.

We can only see what you put out there. Love at first-sight feeling from my experience is mutual. This occured twice in my life. Once when I met my ex-wife, and another when I met my friend's ex-girlfriend, you can just feel the emotions of being near this person.

Take a crack at it. She at least sounds like she cares deeply about you to say the least.

[birdgirl73]

thx all for the responces

and birdgirl, reallly sorry to hear about your sister. Too many people die from cancer nowadays.

You guys are really insitefull towards emotions, and believe me its helpen me alot.

I just cant help wonder if this girl is just consoleing me or actually flirting, Is there anyway to tell?

Once agn thanx

Thanks to you, too, hun. As far as being able to tell whether she's consoling you or actually flirting, that's a hard one. Guys often tend to read flirting into female behavior when we think we're simply being nice. When you're emotionally vulnerable like you are right now, that's an especially risky time for reading flirting into just plain friendship behavior. Just keep being nice to her and watching for any signals. If she is touching you, batting her eyelashes, flipping her hair a lot, saying slightly provocative things, or maybe holding your hand or looking like she might be positioning herself so you'll kiss her, those are good signs you're being flirted with. Just let her keep revealing what she's about. And if all else fails, you can come straight out and ask her whether she considers herself just a friend or potentially more. It's very hard sometimes to get an accurate read on these situations!

[Skrappie]

t3hl0st, I'm sorry to hear about your fathers passing. When I lost my grandmother (almost as much of a mother as my bio) I also felt nothing, I think that is how it is sometimes.

About the girl though.

I think you really need to sit back and think about things before you take any action. Although you may feel like you love this girl now, rushing things (Even more so when im assuming the potential relationship will be long distance?) is a very bad idea. Its important to keep in mind that even though you knew this girl, and you have a basis for a current friendship, that you may not know her now. Keep your feelings undercontrol and try to avoid pressure,
considering the circumstances, there is a lot of room for her to see you out of pity for a while, leading to future heartach.

On the flip side, she may be truely interested in you and this could be a very exciting turining point in your life. Play it out, do what you want to do, and if anything let us know how it all turns out.

Good luck brother:stoned:

[t3hl0st]

thx all =)

i think im gonna just take a break from all this thought, stop trying to decide what to do and just live.

I might start toke'n agn this week, but I rly dont want to use weed as a way of solving emotional problems. just dosnt seem like a wise thing to do. Someone ont hese froums once said "smoke to enhance not to escape" and I think thats what im gonna do.

When she comes in this weekend I think we'll just hang out and see how things progress.

and in the words of Pink Floyd "I have become comfortably numb".

[Frivolous248]

Yeah man, I was thinkin' that your comfortably numb about your fathers death. I'd probably be the same way, cause I just don't know how to act in those situations, so I don't.


Yeah "smoke to enhance not escape" is a good thing to do. Its always better to deal with problems than run away. Good luck with that girl, hope things work out.