I think someone base someone who is ugly or not on how they treat me and others around me.
I tend to rip all the fluffy fakeness fronts and see the person for who they really are. I decide then wether someone is ugly or not. I'm not a based on looks kind of girl. Not really.
But I don't think someone who hurts themselves and everyone around them should be called ugly. Its probably not their fault but I might be turning the other cheek because I feel bad for them because of what they've been through like your friend.

I dont think your friend is ugly at the least but thats just me.