He's probably using a variation of that excuse with his wife.

Wife: "Have you been having mad monkey butt sex with guys?"

Haggard: "No, no, no! I always pull up my pants before he can stick his dick in me!"

Wife: "Oh. Well. That's okay then."
jamstigator Reviewed by jamstigator on . Evangelical leader resigns over gay sex allegations Following allegations that he paid a male escort for sex over a three-year period, Ted Haggard, pastor of 14-thousand member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colo., has placed himself on leave from church duties and resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals The escort, Mike Jones of Denver, told reporters that he and Hagard has a longstanding "business relationship," and that he is stepping forward with the charges now because he is concerned that Haggard doesn't Rating: 5