I'm about to fucking cry...

[JaggedEdge]

OK, well I no longer feel as blah. I smoked a bowl and it helped me fall asleep, but never managed to cry. Anyway I figure I will go and ask for my old job back (again). Not the one I just quit, same company just different resturant where I first started. $7.80 to wash dishes and deal with the store being understaffed and me being over worked. I suppose I should keep looking at it as motivation to do something with my life. I really don't know how some of the older people who work there can do that job every day. I have to kind of admire that (doing what ever it takes.)

I quit this job on 4 different occassions and yet I always seem to go back. I can't escape it. I hate the company, I hate the hours, I dislike most of the people. Yet I keep going back...

I just found a website to find poker games in your area. I will prob try and play in a few of them. Since I was 18 I really just wanted to survive playing poker. Not even WSOP winner, just a very nice little poker career. I love the game and I actually seem to do better after having just smoked a little bit. I was always insane good at our home games (a couple strong players). But when I played online, I lost over $2,000 (citi banks money.) Never have been sure if the house games are that weak or if the internet is just harder to win in. When I turned 21 I went to the casino to play, but they didn't have any live tables. I just played about $20 in the slots and got bored and left. I suppose, once I go back to my old crappy job, I will start building a little bankroll and hitting one of my local games up. I figure it would be cheap enough to realize if I can win in those games they way I won in my normal house games.


Thanks for the responses everyone. It was the thought of maybe having another warrent for an unpaid ticket (been taken care of), while I'm driving around with an expired break tag. Huge crack in windsheild I havn't been able to get fixed yet. I know a lot of places cops usually don't bother arresting people for one unpaid ticket, but here they do. The parishes like their money way to much. I wonder if I could do community service hours in place of a fine? I would much rather pay it by doing something good for someone than giving the parish the money to use on god knows what. They may do it in some cases but am unsure. Most likely not.

[Draziok]

ever since I've gotten into drugs like mj and xtc, all I can think about is how I want to change my life, and how much better it could be, makes me so sad inside..

but then I think, fuck it, live the moment.

[daima]

ever since I've gotten into drugs like mj and xtc, all I can think about is how I want to change my life, and how much better it could be, makes me so sad inside..

but then I think, fuck it, live the moment.

it's a wicked world
and we're all in it
but that could change
in a new york minute
holy terror
toxic gas
aint got nothin'
on some killer grass
so pray for peace
until your hoarse
and maybe fear
will run its course
may god forgive our insanity
and we'll keep movin' on

dai*ma:stoned:

[Nochowderforyou]

I know where you are coming from. I'm in the same spot as you.

I'm having problems holding jobs. My head isn't on straight. I went of heavy meidcation a few months back and I'm just now going back on them because things were really bad. Almost suicide bad, which I don't want to think about or even consider doing.

It's like I want to work, but I want to find a job that I enjoy. I was suppose to start a new job this morning, nothing special, but I bailed out becaise I woke at 4am this morning, shaking from nervousness. I vomited and my head was spinning around in circles. That's part of my anxiety disorder that triggers my depression, than it's all downhill.

I've only been back on meds. for 5 days, so I'm hoping in another week or so, things will be level again and I can start a new job without destroying my stomach with pain.

Wow, great thread. Feels good to vent a bit.

Hopefully things get better for anyone having problems right now. :thumbsup: Good luck.

[Bong30]

Remember guys it is easier to get a Job when you have a job.

so get a temp job doing what ever.....

Then look for a career you love.....

REMEBER YOU NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE, WHEN YOU LOVE WHAT YOU DO.

Get a temp job and find a job you have passion about..............


Ie I like to snowboard so I working in the snowsports industry for the last 21 years.... I started a new career in June though. Super scary shit... I have kids to feed.

Hang in there guys....... Good luck

[Ignatius]

Hey Jagged Edge, good luck with your poker thing. I make the majority of my money, or at least half of it, from playing poker. There's no quick fix though. You have to be good to make money at it, and you need to be patient. A lot of people you will play against will be very poor players, but there are sharks in the water..all the time. If you are any good you'll make money, but be prepared for losses, and get used to bad beats and people moaning about corrupt software etc etc. It's a hard world to make it in, most people fail.

Good luck

[yabatab]

I'm about to cry now.

No, things will get better, they might get worse before they do but
life always goes in cycles you'll find that out later down the road
then look back and say damn that wasn't really that bad at all.