I was smoking all day long yesterday. I didn't think much about it, I had no reason to. Sure, I'm in this welding class at a company I want to work for, but they won't test me unless they're going to hire me, and they won't hire me until after I finish the class.

I was wrong.

About 8 o'clock last night they gave me the news that I'm such a damn good welder they want to hire me now. "Come in at 8 tomorrow morning and we'll give you a drug test and you can start working," they said.

I almost shit myself right there.

I had 12 hours until a drug test for a job I really want, and there's no way I'm gonna pass. I raced home and went straight to Google. "How to pass a drug test." I got a ton of results, mostly commercial websites selling detox products. Even if those do work, no way I can get one delivered in 12 hours.

I also found some message boards on various sites (this was one of them). I read all the different strategies, personal stories, and crackpot theories these forums had to offer. My hope was not high, but I was desperate, so I picked the one that seemed the most popular.

Substitution was not an option. I just moved here and I don't have any friends yet, certainly no one I could ask for a cup of piss from. So I raced over to Walmart to locate some aspirin, vitamin B, gatorade, and cranberry juice.

I drank 2 gallons of gatorade, 1 gallon of cranberry juice, and swallowed about 20 vitamin B pills. Needless to say, I did not get any sleep. It's now after 2 o'clock the next day and I still can't stop pissing.

I made it to the job at 8, despite having to piss in an empty gatorade bottle along the way, only to find out that they are still checking my references, so my physical exam has been delayed for at least one more day, and if I'm really lucky, until sometime next week.

I have some weed in the drawer next to me. My bong is in the closet.

I'm not touching that shit.
CityBoyGoneCountry Reviewed by CityBoyGoneCountry on . My night of panic and piss I was smoking all day long yesterday. I didn't think much about it, I had no reason to. Sure, I'm in this welding class at a company I want to work for, but they won't test me unless they're going to hire me, and they won't hire me until after I finish the class. I was wrong. About 8 o'clock last night they gave me the news that I'm such a damn good welder they want to hire me now. "Come in at 8 tomorrow morning and we'll give you a drug test and you can start working," they said. I Rating: 5