i was drunk and at a party over the summer and i was getting head from some random ass chick, she was kinda chunky but i was hella drunk so it didnt matter. so im getting head in the bathroom and i rested my beer on her head when it was going up and down and she was like "wtf?", and then when i busted a load i was like "SHIZZAM!!!" and she laughed and got jizz everywhere.

thanks to dane cook for the great idea