Actually you have raised a good point here...

I went through a period that I jerked off so aggressively, that when I was with any gal, I would have to fuck aggressively to get the same sensation, coz slow fucking wasn't doin anything for me.

The only way around that for me was to practice jerking off slowly, it took a while but was worth it. So we do get into habits, but I think sometimes it can be physiological.