i got sent away for that shit man
keep a visine bottle-full of someones clean piss deep deep deep in your freezer. when you hear your getting tested, take it out asap and let it thaw, then tape it to your croch. if yopu can stall for a few hours to let it warm up, your set. if not, well..im sure lighters would woprk

its worked wonders for me..you dont even need to freeze it immediately, but after a few days it goes bad. EW.