Through body language, facial expression, tone, and the words used to describe something, we humans attempt to communicate our perception of reality amongst each other.

>>>>>>>>>>>>But we all die alone.
>>>>>>>>>>>>We never truly understand one another. >>>>>>>>>>>>We are always, forever, alone.

We pretend to "grasp" another human's perception through comparison to our own, or through chemicals designed to make us feel as if we've "bonded",
but we cannot truly connect.

Our entire lives, from start to finish, one big battle with happyness and a sense of satisfaction from life. If you've ever done psychedelics... They can make you aware of the true distance between living things. I can never truly know if the feeling that I am trying to convey to my friend is the same thing as he feels. Unless his mental "trip" and chemical balance throughout life has been almost identical to my own, our expirience cannot be replicated simply by communicating.
The sense of thinking something brilliant while high comes from a myriad of chemical interactions. When you wake up the next day and read "GREAT IDEA: FEED CHICKEN BACON" next to a picture of an egg hatching a peice of bacon, do you really feel such a sense of awe like you did beforehand? Now imagine if your friend who was with you at the time wasn't stoned when you came up with that idea. Did he feel the sense of awe? No.
But this goes on every single day. Stupidity and emotional haze override our sense of rationality, and lead us to beleive that when we communicate with people and they act like they've expirienced the same life-chemicals as you, you truly do understand what it feels like to "be" the other person. But you don't.

We are truly alone, in our own minds. Encapsulated within a fragile skull, viewing what we perceive as others just like us but in different physical positioning on the planet... Should I just give in? Is rationality, the verbal mind, truly the cause of my pain? Should I let go, let my emotions and chemicals re-trick me, push me towards an illusion that allows me to feel a sense of belonging?

I don't want to be human anymore. I'm sick of this feeling.
I hate this wandering fear, the constant barrage of apathy, instant gratification, despise of myself and others... I feel out of place as a human being. The sad part is, a therapist would most likely tell me even THIS feeling is a product of my chemical imbalances, the result of my place in society and my relationships. I can never gain complete control when I am Trapped, SUFFOCATED, WITHIN this physical plane.

And i'm sick of lying on this site. A fucking internet forum, i've sunk this low to feed off my primal desires for human interaction.
I know very well that people look down upon those younger that them, seeing them as less informed, immature, that their opinions can never truly be taken seriously due to their age. But I want it off my chest.
I'm 16, a virgin, live with my father, sort of dropped out due to depression last year, I wear glasses, I have a strong distaste for most teenagers, especially when they act like teenagers. I hate the way they force themselves into groups or titles or fads due to social placement, how they succumb so deeply into their primal needs. I have one friend. And the friendship is based on music appreciation and drug use. That's it. Even that relationship is dying. I find anger and dullness to be the biggest personality turnoffs on this site, while I feel a desire to be noticed and liked by Birdgirl, or ItsAPlant, or anyone who's shown intelligence and a sense of humor about life.


Does anyone here think they understand?
Any advice? Opinion? Shut the fuck up you whiny teenager, so many african children are starving right now and all you can do is complain about your life?

My social awareness tells me to feel self-centered, selfish, pathetic, but I can't remove myself from my true being like so many "tough" men pretend to do.
the beauty of this world only manages to distract me for so long... I need something permanent.
Inferius Reviewed by Inferius on . The Illusion Of Communication Through body language, facial expression, tone, and the words used to describe something, we humans attempt to communicate our perception of reality amongst each other. >>>>>>>>>>>>But we all die alone. >>>>>>>>>>>>We never truly understand one another. >>>>>>>>>>>>We are always, forever, alone. We pretend to "grasp" another human's perception through comparison to our own, or through chemicals designed to make us feel as if we've "bonded", Rating: 5