yEAH, DON'T i know it.

I love my kids, anbd they are the only reason that I stick around, but it breaks my heart when I can't even afford to do give them little things. Plus, I find it very difficult to hide my frustration - I don't take itouton them, but I have little patience right now, and so I am faced weith the double-whammy, of trying to keep a happy face on, when all I wanna do is cry at my inadequecies - and that's what it boils down to. I can't even look after myself, so how the fuck can \I be a role model to them?

I aint gonna check out, no matter how much I want to, but what the fuck have I got to do to make this existence bearable?

I've tried the give-a-fuck attitude, but that only works if those that you are directin git at GAF about how you feel...they do not, the banks, the ex-...they couldn't give a fuck!

Anyways, I'm on pumpkin detail with the kids...must control the knife action lol...
I spose that I shouldn't design the face on their mother...not least because i'll end up kicking it the out of the door.